Well, it's been a minute sense I last wrote. I am really not sure what to make, of my situation. I'll try really real hard to try and describe my state, and how I feel, and be honest along the way with out disclosing too much info.
The man I am with right now is 30 years old. His name is Jason Ingwaldson. I tell you his name, because I am proud of who he is, and all of the things he has accomplished in his life. You see, Jason was a fighter, and once a fighter, always a fighter. He has won so many championships and titles, it's unreal. He has even layed his hands down in the hall of fame for ameature boxers. In other words, his hands are weapons, and will forever be ... weapons. That's pretty crazy.
Honestly, it's hard for me to believe that some one like him is interested in me. I know what you're thinking .... come on, get some self esteem. Really though, it's hard for me. I can't really say everything about how things are with him, but I can tell you a few things. One, I feel like a queen. I feel like I have stepped up ..... atleast in status. I can tell you that it is difficult being with him ..... He's not your normal guy and he has standards. I can tell you positively that I will NEVER meet another Jason Ingwaldson.
I'm doing things for this guy, that I would never do for anybody else. I called my EX and told him that it was OVER and it would never BE again. Now, Jason doesn't know this but .... that took everything I had. To face Kyle and tell him ...... Over? Never again? Took so much from me. I cried so hard after I did that. He probably thought nothing of it, you know. Kyle and I, we never hated each other ..... we cared alot about each other, whether near or far. I just said good bye to one of my best friends. Whether he could see that or not ...... I don't know. Whether it was the right thing to do. I don't know.
Yeah ..... I could stay friends with Kyle. On the other hand though, what does that say to my boyfriend. I've used that time and time again ...... we're just friends. Actually though, when you think about it. It's disrespectful to your man, and it's a lie ...... because we wouldn't just be friends. There would always be something more.
I have been spending everyday with Jason. I care alot about him. I have met everyone in his life, that means something to him.
What about me though? My family seems broken. My values have stood strong, but jason's values are like the great wall of China!! What can I bring to the table? I ask myself this because, I have his best interest in mind. Listen, if I really wanted the world to feel sorry for me, I'm sure I could find other ways to do it besides writing in a flippin blog. What I am saying is .... Let's just be honest. I haven't won any medals, I'm not Cindy Crawford, I'm not rich, bla bla ...bla ... you catch my drift. So, what does he want from me? He says I have a good heart ...... How does he know that? I mean I question whether I am right in the head and in my heart like ALL the time.
At what point, do I stop and tell myself ..... you're being to hard on yourself. Why can't I feel like I'm worth it. Why does it never feel like I'm enough. At what point will I stop telling myself stupid shit and feel good about myself. I just don't get it. I mean I feel it inside ..... the desire to feel good ... the desire to be some one ..... a good some one ..... a desire to tell my self that I am special and truly amazing, but ...... sometimes it always seems like it's not true.
I don't know where he and I are headed. Same ol' story. With some guy, and not sure where we're going but we're a goin'!! Great (sigh) I do know this .........I don't want to hurt him. I don't know what to do. Here I have this amazing creature and I haven't a clue .... what to do. Do I give him a massage ...... do I tell him a joke ..... is being myself enough. Do I go out and try to win a couple titles? I mean really what the fuck am I suppose to do?!
I wasn't even looking for anyone ...... after I had tried chasing down a rich Harvard poker player. I was done. That took way more energy than I thought it would. (I guess chasing something you can't catch will take alot out of anyone) Vegas is not my scene, never was. I had it engraved on my heart, that Vegas was not the place to find love for me. I was here for sucess, and money.
So now what? I can't raise a family here .....Jason isn't the kind of guy you just have a good time with. You're in it .... you're in it for the long haul. I have not been with someone for a long time before. I have never given that much of me to anyone. I feel in my heart that he might be the person that I've been looking for. The person that I can say I've been with for a long long time.
This is it though. We are in our early stages ....... It's my choice and the choices are .... go for the gold ...... or forfeit the game.
I'm so scared. I really am. Nobody stays together, and even if they do. 99 percent of the time they aren't happy. Dammit, I wanna believe that I can stay with someone forever, not the second the third or the fourth ..... but the first time around. The first ..... I want to be with someone forever and be happy. I guess you never know, if you don't try, and I've never tried.
Whatever I do, I have to do it soon. It's either walk ..... or go for the gold. Maybe I don't want to be the queen and maybe I don't want his crown, but ..... maybe I do, maybe I wanna sit next to him on that throne. I've just never seen myself in that way before.......
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Crush, The Date part 1
We went on our first date.
My bedroom is a mess!! I put on a dress, I took it off. I put on some dress pants, I took those off. I twirled in the mirror. I twirled the other way. I tried a hippy dress, than a poofy dress. I tried something old, I tried something new. I tried sexy, I tried cute and innocent, I tried everything!! Whatever I was looking for I wanted it to radiate something magnificent.
I through my fifth conconction of busy patterns and complimenting colors on the floor. I sat down, I stood up. I walked in the bathroom, I walked out of the bathroom. I went in my room, sat on the bed, and pouted.
I was nervous. Not because it was my first date. It was just because, I really like this one. This guy. I like him so much, that I was putting thought into every little detail. My perfume, my make - up, my charismatic smile I practiced in the mirror.
I drove to Walmart, of all places. It was my only option, considering that nothing was open other than the strip stores. and no local, especially in Las Vegas, wants to drive through a tourist infestation if they don't have to.
I walked up and down the isles .... nothing. (sigh) At this point I relized that I was just too picky. Thank you Walmart, but I think I'll look to other coorporations for my fashion needs.
I went home and went to bed.
I woke up at 5 am walking into my closet crossing my fingers.
"Oh just lead me to the right outfit .... come on ...... come on." I hoped
We were meeting at 7:50 and by the time it was 7:00. The outfit I picked ot was just a normal, boring, shirt/dress and the only reason I picked that, was because I didn't have anymore time to be a critic.
I sped off down the highway full speed ahead. I looked around me and saw my shiny dress shoes and short but not too short dress. It felt like my attire and choice of blairing rap music was a funny combination.
Finaly, I made it. Word of life church. I walked up and down the parking lot. Early, of course.
"You're such a looser, you have nothing better to do, of course you're early!" I belittled myself.
I waved at the church goers going by and felt almost a sense of comfort when I saw a black women with an obnoxious hat with flowers pouring out of it. I was trying to seem as non - demonic as possible.
"Hello ..... oh ..... Hello, how are you." I tried to seem convincing with my eyes as well as dialouge.
I wanted it to be real, I wanted this place to be a place full of people who had good intentions, I wanted this place to be pure and sanctified. I was tired. Tired of searching for something good. I wanted to be loved, I didn't want to feel pain anymore. I was scared, and alone. I was afraid of becoming something evil, I didn't want to be a bad person, I didn't want be a whore, I didn't want to be a liar, I didn't want have twisted thoughts ......No one new that though ........ I guess when you add all of these thoughts together what you get is.
"Hello .. how are you? .... Oh me, I'm good thanks."
What the fuck was I doing there!! Just about every guy that I had ever known in my entire life gave two shits about anything in any relation to religion. I felt like a clown!! Was I doing this for my self, or because I like some guy!?!
I cus like a sailor, have anger issues and snap on people like my father, have had a million boyfriends (that doesn not mean I slept with half of the world), I drink, I love weed, I like the idea of sex although I'm not sexually active, I've been abused, I've contemplated murder, I've stolen, lied intentionally, why not just keep this going? Right?
So, maybe I suck. Maybe I'm not an angel, maybe I'm not the virgin Mary. Dammit!! I've tried my whole life to be a good person. For what? So that in the end, I still feel worthless, so that I am told I "might" go to heaven. It was hard for me to be there. SO hard.
No one knows how much I have wanted to give in ...... give in to what? Give in to desires, and give in to morals. Lay down my sword. Sweet surrender.
"When is he gonna be here?!!" I was anxious.
Finaly he walked in, he was wearing a green dress shirt, black dress pants, and dress shoes. He smiled while he holding a bible in one hand ........
To be continued.
My bedroom is a mess!! I put on a dress, I took it off. I put on some dress pants, I took those off. I twirled in the mirror. I twirled the other way. I tried a hippy dress, than a poofy dress. I tried something old, I tried something new. I tried sexy, I tried cute and innocent, I tried everything!! Whatever I was looking for I wanted it to radiate something magnificent.
I through my fifth conconction of busy patterns and complimenting colors on the floor. I sat down, I stood up. I walked in the bathroom, I walked out of the bathroom. I went in my room, sat on the bed, and pouted.
I was nervous. Not because it was my first date. It was just because, I really like this one. This guy. I like him so much, that I was putting thought into every little detail. My perfume, my make - up, my charismatic smile I practiced in the mirror.
I drove to Walmart, of all places. It was my only option, considering that nothing was open other than the strip stores. and no local, especially in Las Vegas, wants to drive through a tourist infestation if they don't have to.
I walked up and down the isles .... nothing. (sigh) At this point I relized that I was just too picky. Thank you Walmart, but I think I'll look to other coorporations for my fashion needs.
I went home and went to bed.
I woke up at 5 am walking into my closet crossing my fingers.
"Oh just lead me to the right outfit .... come on ...... come on." I hoped
We were meeting at 7:50 and by the time it was 7:00. The outfit I picked ot was just a normal, boring, shirt/dress and the only reason I picked that, was because I didn't have anymore time to be a critic.
I sped off down the highway full speed ahead. I looked around me and saw my shiny dress shoes and short but not too short dress. It felt like my attire and choice of blairing rap music was a funny combination.
Finaly, I made it. Word of life church. I walked up and down the parking lot. Early, of course.
"You're such a looser, you have nothing better to do, of course you're early!" I belittled myself.
I waved at the church goers going by and felt almost a sense of comfort when I saw a black women with an obnoxious hat with flowers pouring out of it. I was trying to seem as non - demonic as possible.
"Hello ..... oh ..... Hello, how are you." I tried to seem convincing with my eyes as well as dialouge.
I wanted it to be real, I wanted this place to be a place full of people who had good intentions, I wanted this place to be pure and sanctified. I was tired. Tired of searching for something good. I wanted to be loved, I didn't want to feel pain anymore. I was scared, and alone. I was afraid of becoming something evil, I didn't want to be a bad person, I didn't want be a whore, I didn't want to be a liar, I didn't want have twisted thoughts ......No one new that though ........ I guess when you add all of these thoughts together what you get is.
"Hello .. how are you? .... Oh me, I'm good thanks."
What the fuck was I doing there!! Just about every guy that I had ever known in my entire life gave two shits about anything in any relation to religion. I felt like a clown!! Was I doing this for my self, or because I like some guy!?!
I cus like a sailor, have anger issues and snap on people like my father, have had a million boyfriends (that doesn not mean I slept with half of the world), I drink, I love weed, I like the idea of sex although I'm not sexually active, I've been abused, I've contemplated murder, I've stolen, lied intentionally, why not just keep this going? Right?
So, maybe I suck. Maybe I'm not an angel, maybe I'm not the virgin Mary. Dammit!! I've tried my whole life to be a good person. For what? So that in the end, I still feel worthless, so that I am told I "might" go to heaven. It was hard for me to be there. SO hard.
No one knows how much I have wanted to give in ...... give in to what? Give in to desires, and give in to morals. Lay down my sword. Sweet surrender.
"When is he gonna be here?!!" I was anxious.
Finaly he walked in, he was wearing a green dress shirt, black dress pants, and dress shoes. He smiled while he holding a bible in one hand ........
To be continued.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Stick to the plan
It's so hard for me to express how I'm feeling sometimes. I try and form my words into sentences, and it's useless. My feelings get jumbled around the letters, and I don't know what to do. I try and spit out what I'm thinking and nothing comes out but air.
I'm thinking, and thinking, trying to get every word out just right. It's just impossible. Instead, of accomplishing communication, I'm just left sitting there, like a bumbling idiot.
When I write, it's like the words come out smoother. I'm not trying so hard to analize every little thing I say before I say it.
My crush and I have talked on the phone more than I have talked to any stranger in the past 3 years. Usually it's all text.
I pretty sure though, he likes me as a friend, not as much more.
He's got a lot of things going on in his life.
I think in Vegas, I should just stick to business. That was always my original plan, anyway.
I'm thinking, and thinking, trying to get every word out just right. It's just impossible. Instead, of accomplishing communication, I'm just left sitting there, like a bumbling idiot.
When I write, it's like the words come out smoother. I'm not trying so hard to analize every little thing I say before I say it.
My crush and I have talked on the phone more than I have talked to any stranger in the past 3 years. Usually it's all text.
I pretty sure though, he likes me as a friend, not as much more.
He's got a lot of things going on in his life.
I think in Vegas, I should just stick to business. That was always my original plan, anyway.
Monday, September 14, 2009
GAME OVER
Hey WEGAS - (Who ever gives a shit)
So, I've been on two dates. One a man in the air force, who was 25, going into the intelligence unit. Two, a Nevada DJ, Age 26. Some pretty interesting and good times. I'd love to outline these moments.
Lastly, I somehow ended all of this with a huge crush on someone whose been under my nose for quite some time, and that I haven't gone on any dates with yet.
Mr. Intellingence: Basically I ended up talking to this guy all night in morse code. You know, it was the kind of connection where you don't need to use words. He wasn't ugly, but he also wasn't really the kind of guy I'd go for.
We met through my friend Trisha. I was obviously, as ussual, the wing-girl. This time though, I think SHE was the one not having fun. So ha.
There was a really talented band playing that night. They played one of my favorite songs. "No, woman, no cry." I sat on the ground and motioned my arms around like a godess. Swaying my head. I missed those days in St. Louis. I wanted to spin around in circles, and dance like a hippy/candy kid. It felt like the band was playing just for me, and just for my birthday.
I got really wasted that night. Tequila, after tequila. Beer after beer. It was like the alcholic olympics. It was my birthday in 3 days, so it was guzzle guzzle time.
My favorite part on this date is when Mr intelligence stared at me.
"You're different." He stared into nothing. It looked like he was trying hard to define me. Squinting his eyes.
"Thanks." I muttered. Positve that he was implying "different" as something not cool at all.
"No, no, that's not a bad thing. Not at all." He transitioned my thoughts.
He turned his head, eyes full of life. Staring deep into my eyes.
"What?!" I felt offended, or like I had something crawling on my face.
"I like looking at you. what can I say? Maybe, I like looking into your eyes. I don't like the Vegas type ...... you know? All showy. I like people that are more conservative, people that I can actually have a conversation with, intelligent people ....... You know I can honestly say, that I've never met a girl like you. "
I think in that moment. That was something that I really needed to hear. Even if there is a possiblitly that that can be translated into: I wanna fuck you. Do you feel special now? I needed to hear it. It made me feel beautiful. So, I smiled. I was glad I met him that night, and that would be the last time I'd ever see him. We never exchanged numbers. I left, like cinderella. GAME OVER
Date number 2: To protect his true idenity we'll call him DJ sole. A DJ!! Exciting right? He travels the world, talented, has women all over him. Sounded good to me.
I'm gonna skip pass how we met, and get to our first date.
It was my birthday. I was lounging by my computer, trying to think about all the reasons I wasn't a looser for sitting there, drinking vodka and wine alone on my birthday.
Eventually, he got off work and came to my house at around eleven thirty. We hit it off. He was flipping hilarious!! Every crack at a joke he made, ended in sucess.
We watched a movie together, and cuddled. We began to explore how we felt to one another, in each others arms, excluding the "special parts" , if you will. It felt amazing, yet we never even made it to a kiss.
The night ended because it was extremely late, and he had to work in about 3 hours. While trying to close the door slowly, I had a newfound hope in the male race, his face was so cute and inviting.
He said " Hey, I'll call you toomarow, k?"
My face held no expression. " Huh? Oh yeah ..... uh .... yeah definitely! Um .... look, I don't know how this stuff works ...... " I half pleaded.
He repeated himself and grinned, " I'll call you toomarow."
" Um, okay ... toomarow." I shut the door.
What if he didn't call? What if he was just saying that to be nice? What if he didn't like the smell of my apartment? What if he thought my wearing pajamas for a first date was a lack of effort?!! My heart was racing. I plopped on my couch.
" I guess we'll find out .... " I thought to myself.
The next day, we began to text each other back and fourth. He called me that night. We started talking to each other. I thought the conversation was going fine, and then he paused.
"Hey can I call you back? I have to take my dog for a walk."
My brain jolted. I'm not sure if that's possible, but that's the best way I can describe how I felt.
"Yeah, of course!! Call me back ..." I sounded as non - suspicious as possible.
He did call me back, but I didn't pick up the phone. I had decided that my intuition was screaming ....
"Don't pick up!!! Don't do it!!! What guy calls you and then hangs up to walk his dog!!?? Who does that???!!! Red Flags!!!! RED FLAGS!!!!!"
Once my inner vocies chilled the fuck out, I called him back. He didn't answer. Tooshay. I went to sleep.
Over the next few days. We text back and fourth, but either he would be flaky about it, or I would be flaky about it. Eventually I decided that whatever we were doing, was retarded, so I decided to send him a final text, it went as follows.
"Hey you, it was nice meeeting you, and I think you're really nice!! I have an idea though, how about we STOP texting each other. I say the ball is in MY court, and if I want to hang out, I'll give YOU a call." So, maybe I'll call, and maybe I won't. Bye =)."
He responded. " Oooookay, that was outta no where. Didn't really think there was a " ball " in anyones court. Guess I was wrong. PEACE."
"Oh well, That was that, and I'll never see him again." I sighed.
My friday at work is on a Monday. I had just gotten off my lunch break and started my rounds.
" Cocktails? ......... Beverage anyone? ......." I gave my winning vegas smile as I walked along.
A cute asian girl looks up and says.
"No thanks, we're good."
Her significant other motions to agree and unescasarily repeats her remarks.
"Yeah, we're good."
I turn to give the man eye contact, and .........
There it was, DJ sole, in MY section, with ANOTHER girl, right after I had seen him FOUR days ago, on MY birthday. We were JUST talking on the phone the OTHER day!!!!!
Wtf? Was it all just some twisted coincedence, he could have gone anywhere else on the strip, I mean seriously. Why did he end up in my section? Was he trying to make some kind of point. Part of me really wanted to cus him out. It wasn't the fact that he was with another girl, it was just ...... principle.
I couldn't believe that. Date #2 GAME OVER.
The Crush:
Sometimes, at work on my lunch break, I sit by myself, Sometimes, I sit with a bunch of people. It really just depends on who is around in the cafeteria at the moment, and if I think you'll make my dining experience more enjoyable. Sometimes, if I see someone, I can just tell our conversations, would be forced, and there would be too many ackward moments. In this case I'd rather sit alone.
On this particular day, I sat by myself. I mosied along to one of the bar stools, and passed my soon to be crush.
"Hey!! Marley? " My crush looked up from a table that he too was sitting at alone.
"Come sit with me." he said in a way that sounded more like an order than a request.
I had never had lunch with him, but he seemed intruiging and nice.
I wanted to be sure.
"Huh?," I gave him the, I'm not sure who the fuck you're talking to face.
"Come over!" He said again.
So I did. We began to talk, about random things.
There was a couple sitting across from us. They seemed like the kind of couple that had been together for years. When I sat down, apart of me felt wierd sitting across from them, it felt like I was intruding on some kind of deep bonding, that I wasn't invited to. By the end of lunch I never even knew they existed. It was as if the whole world disappeared.
This guy ended up telling things about him that I had no idea about. For right now, I'm not going to talk about these things. I will tell you this. He is one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life. I say that with complete and utter confidence.
The past year and half, I spent chasing guys that aren't even here. He was right here with me the whole time. I feel ashamed. This guy is so cool, that I don't know if he has money, and I don't care. Who he is, is enough.
What was I chasing, before? Men with money, and power, and an image. Men, who couldn't even see me for me. Men who couldn't even find value in a friendship with me. Men, who took it upon themselves to come and go with the seasons. Men, trapped in a glass case. I mean serioulsy what is that?
I lost myself. It's Vegas. What do you expect? Right? I forgot who I was.
I am so much more, than an image, I am so much more than money, I am so much more than begging another human for their time. I have a soul, I have a heart, I have depths. I can see things from different angles. I was trying to be something ......... I wasn't .......
My crush and I exchanged e - mails for about week on facebook. Then I finaly gave him my number a day ago. He called that night, we talked for about two and half hours. I didn't want him to go.
My dad said.
"Baby, when you find some one who has amazing qualities, you've got your million dollars right there because that, .... that's hard to find."
I love my dad.
Even if things never get to that level with my crush. I am just so fucking happy. That some one like him exist on this planet.
P.S. - Awesome get over asshole songs
30 seconds to mars - The kill
* Look in my eyes, you're killing me
* I tried to be some one else.
Phil Collins (Yes I typed phil collins) - I don't care anymore.
*I remember those times when you laughed in my face cus you held the cards.
So, I've been on two dates. One a man in the air force, who was 25, going into the intelligence unit. Two, a Nevada DJ, Age 26. Some pretty interesting and good times. I'd love to outline these moments.
Lastly, I somehow ended all of this with a huge crush on someone whose been under my nose for quite some time, and that I haven't gone on any dates with yet.
Mr. Intellingence: Basically I ended up talking to this guy all night in morse code. You know, it was the kind of connection where you don't need to use words. He wasn't ugly, but he also wasn't really the kind of guy I'd go for.
We met through my friend Trisha. I was obviously, as ussual, the wing-girl. This time though, I think SHE was the one not having fun. So ha.
There was a really talented band playing that night. They played one of my favorite songs. "No, woman, no cry." I sat on the ground and motioned my arms around like a godess. Swaying my head. I missed those days in St. Louis. I wanted to spin around in circles, and dance like a hippy/candy kid. It felt like the band was playing just for me, and just for my birthday.
I got really wasted that night. Tequila, after tequila. Beer after beer. It was like the alcholic olympics. It was my birthday in 3 days, so it was guzzle guzzle time.
My favorite part on this date is when Mr intelligence stared at me.
"You're different." He stared into nothing. It looked like he was trying hard to define me. Squinting his eyes.
"Thanks." I muttered. Positve that he was implying "different" as something not cool at all.
"No, no, that's not a bad thing. Not at all." He transitioned my thoughts.
He turned his head, eyes full of life. Staring deep into my eyes.
"What?!" I felt offended, or like I had something crawling on my face.
"I like looking at you. what can I say? Maybe, I like looking into your eyes. I don't like the Vegas type ...... you know? All showy. I like people that are more conservative, people that I can actually have a conversation with, intelligent people ....... You know I can honestly say, that I've never met a girl like you. "
I think in that moment. That was something that I really needed to hear. Even if there is a possiblitly that that can be translated into: I wanna fuck you. Do you feel special now? I needed to hear it. It made me feel beautiful. So, I smiled. I was glad I met him that night, and that would be the last time I'd ever see him. We never exchanged numbers. I left, like cinderella. GAME OVER
Date number 2: To protect his true idenity we'll call him DJ sole. A DJ!! Exciting right? He travels the world, talented, has women all over him. Sounded good to me.
I'm gonna skip pass how we met, and get to our first date.
It was my birthday. I was lounging by my computer, trying to think about all the reasons I wasn't a looser for sitting there, drinking vodka and wine alone on my birthday.
Eventually, he got off work and came to my house at around eleven thirty. We hit it off. He was flipping hilarious!! Every crack at a joke he made, ended in sucess.
We watched a movie together, and cuddled. We began to explore how we felt to one another, in each others arms, excluding the "special parts" , if you will. It felt amazing, yet we never even made it to a kiss.
The night ended because it was extremely late, and he had to work in about 3 hours. While trying to close the door slowly, I had a newfound hope in the male race, his face was so cute and inviting.
He said " Hey, I'll call you toomarow, k?"
My face held no expression. " Huh? Oh yeah ..... uh .... yeah definitely! Um .... look, I don't know how this stuff works ...... " I half pleaded.
He repeated himself and grinned, " I'll call you toomarow."
" Um, okay ... toomarow." I shut the door.
What if he didn't call? What if he was just saying that to be nice? What if he didn't like the smell of my apartment? What if he thought my wearing pajamas for a first date was a lack of effort?!! My heart was racing. I plopped on my couch.
" I guess we'll find out .... " I thought to myself.
The next day, we began to text each other back and fourth. He called me that night. We started talking to each other. I thought the conversation was going fine, and then he paused.
"Hey can I call you back? I have to take my dog for a walk."
My brain jolted. I'm not sure if that's possible, but that's the best way I can describe how I felt.
"Yeah, of course!! Call me back ..." I sounded as non - suspicious as possible.
He did call me back, but I didn't pick up the phone. I had decided that my intuition was screaming ....
"Don't pick up!!! Don't do it!!! What guy calls you and then hangs up to walk his dog!!?? Who does that???!!! Red Flags!!!! RED FLAGS!!!!!"
Once my inner vocies chilled the fuck out, I called him back. He didn't answer. Tooshay. I went to sleep.
Over the next few days. We text back and fourth, but either he would be flaky about it, or I would be flaky about it. Eventually I decided that whatever we were doing, was retarded, so I decided to send him a final text, it went as follows.
"Hey you, it was nice meeeting you, and I think you're really nice!! I have an idea though, how about we STOP texting each other. I say the ball is in MY court, and if I want to hang out, I'll give YOU a call." So, maybe I'll call, and maybe I won't. Bye =)."
He responded. " Oooookay, that was outta no where. Didn't really think there was a " ball " in anyones court. Guess I was wrong. PEACE."
"Oh well, That was that, and I'll never see him again." I sighed.
My friday at work is on a Monday. I had just gotten off my lunch break and started my rounds.
" Cocktails? ......... Beverage anyone? ......." I gave my winning vegas smile as I walked along.
A cute asian girl looks up and says.
"No thanks, we're good."
Her significant other motions to agree and unescasarily repeats her remarks.
"Yeah, we're good."
I turn to give the man eye contact, and .........
There it was, DJ sole, in MY section, with ANOTHER girl, right after I had seen him FOUR days ago, on MY birthday. We were JUST talking on the phone the OTHER day!!!!!
Wtf? Was it all just some twisted coincedence, he could have gone anywhere else on the strip, I mean seriously. Why did he end up in my section? Was he trying to make some kind of point. Part of me really wanted to cus him out. It wasn't the fact that he was with another girl, it was just ...... principle.
I couldn't believe that. Date #2 GAME OVER.
The Crush:
Sometimes, at work on my lunch break, I sit by myself, Sometimes, I sit with a bunch of people. It really just depends on who is around in the cafeteria at the moment, and if I think you'll make my dining experience more enjoyable. Sometimes, if I see someone, I can just tell our conversations, would be forced, and there would be too many ackward moments. In this case I'd rather sit alone.
On this particular day, I sat by myself. I mosied along to one of the bar stools, and passed my soon to be crush.
"Hey!! Marley? " My crush looked up from a table that he too was sitting at alone.
"Come sit with me." he said in a way that sounded more like an order than a request.
I had never had lunch with him, but he seemed intruiging and nice.
I wanted to be sure.
"Huh?," I gave him the, I'm not sure who the fuck you're talking to face.
"Come over!" He said again.
So I did. We began to talk, about random things.
There was a couple sitting across from us. They seemed like the kind of couple that had been together for years. When I sat down, apart of me felt wierd sitting across from them, it felt like I was intruding on some kind of deep bonding, that I wasn't invited to. By the end of lunch I never even knew they existed. It was as if the whole world disappeared.
This guy ended up telling things about him that I had no idea about. For right now, I'm not going to talk about these things. I will tell you this. He is one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life. I say that with complete and utter confidence.
The past year and half, I spent chasing guys that aren't even here. He was right here with me the whole time. I feel ashamed. This guy is so cool, that I don't know if he has money, and I don't care. Who he is, is enough.
What was I chasing, before? Men with money, and power, and an image. Men, who couldn't even see me for me. Men who couldn't even find value in a friendship with me. Men, who took it upon themselves to come and go with the seasons. Men, trapped in a glass case. I mean serioulsy what is that?
I lost myself. It's Vegas. What do you expect? Right? I forgot who I was.
I am so much more, than an image, I am so much more than money, I am so much more than begging another human for their time. I have a soul, I have a heart, I have depths. I can see things from different angles. I was trying to be something ......... I wasn't .......
My crush and I exchanged e - mails for about week on facebook. Then I finaly gave him my number a day ago. He called that night, we talked for about two and half hours. I didn't want him to go.
My dad said.
"Baby, when you find some one who has amazing qualities, you've got your million dollars right there because that, .... that's hard to find."
I love my dad.
Even if things never get to that level with my crush. I am just so fucking happy. That some one like him exist on this planet.
P.S. - Awesome get over asshole songs
30 seconds to mars - The kill
* Look in my eyes, you're killing me
* I tried to be some one else.
Phil Collins (Yes I typed phil collins) - I don't care anymore.
*I remember those times when you laughed in my face cus you held the cards.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
BAD DAY .....Not cool.
I flipped out on a cashier today. She totally tilted me.
I'll save the story and just say her attitude was completely uncalled for. I feel the need to constantly stick up for myself in situations were someone is trying to disrespect me.
One, I live here alone, and I am the only one that has my back. Two, when a person needs to be put in their place, sometimes you have to be the one that does it.
I walked out of the bar for a brief moment to bring my self together and then walked back in. At this point I caught the cashier saying. " I'm gonna slap her in her fucking face. " referring to me.
My reaction was simply these words and a piercing look. " You need to watch you fucking mouth."
She was a big girl, but honestly I have ALOT of heart. So you be the judge. Plus, I had enough adrenaline in me to make your morbid dreams of what could of happened, a reality. Honestly, I almosted wished she just would of ...... you know cus anything after that ..... self defense.
My car broke down, I'm so sad. I actually really like my car. I mean, the car really does nothing for my ego, but it gets me around. I have enough money to go and get a new car, but I am trying my best to salvage what the Honda has left. Now, it's the altanator. =(
I cannot wait until September!!! I took the pool shift for the summer. In Sept, is when all of the girls move inside of the casino for the winter. I am SO excited! I tried taking leave from work Sep 1 - 9 to go to Boston with one of my friends, but I was denied the time off. However, when we move inside I will be taking a 2 month leave. At this point I can go anywhere I want and still come back and have a job.
I have so many places in mind. I can't wait!!
I recenlty just got back from San Fransico California. I was visiting my friend Brian. Brian, is also the same guy I went to Thailand with.
He's an awesome guy. We have alot of fun together. He's starting his own show soon. More on this later.
As for love ..... well, I don't really want anyone right now. I think I have a lot of things to work on about me, before I can be good for anyone else.
I was really into my EX from MO. for a while. I saw him this summer, and realized all the reasons I did like him, and recalled how amazing of a person he was.
Yet, I feel like I just snapped out of something. I don't want to be with him anymore, and I won't be waiting for him ever again. He was expecting to see me when I flew back home, but I won't be seeing him. I in fact called and said these same words to him.
"We've had good times, but it's over now. It's time for us to move on."
He's a good person. I wish him all the best. It's just I've left the nest, I'm growing up, I'm changing and learning and growing everyday. I just don't feel like we're on the same page anymore. I don't want to hold him back with any thoughts of us being together. I'm moving on.
In my journery down these roads alone, I'll be sure to update on any amazing or horrid dates. One, can only hope that I find stimulating conversation. It's so scarce .....
Sometimes I find it hard to pick one guy out from the next. It's an annoying illusion that everyone is the same. I know everyone is unique and different in their own way but jeez. Must I pawn and search for these qualities and .... Why can't they be obvious differences. Sometimes when I'm on the prawl it's like a constant repeat of the same people.
This is not to say " Hey look at me, I have so much to offer." because maybe I don't, but how many people do you know, with a name like Marnica. Atleast you can appreciate that as an obvious difference. It's like I say my name and people are automatically like. FLASH FLASH FLASH her names not Sarah. Hold the phone!! lol!!
How many people do you know who are my age, and my race. I factor in age because the older and older the people you're looking at, the less and less you will see interacial mixing and vice versa.
I like wierd and unique and different. I don't want to have to fish through a bunch of clones to get to a collectors item.
So I'm not looking anymore. Especially sense the thought of doing so annoys me at the moment.
I'll save the story and just say her attitude was completely uncalled for. I feel the need to constantly stick up for myself in situations were someone is trying to disrespect me.
One, I live here alone, and I am the only one that has my back. Two, when a person needs to be put in their place, sometimes you have to be the one that does it.
I walked out of the bar for a brief moment to bring my self together and then walked back in. At this point I caught the cashier saying. " I'm gonna slap her in her fucking face. " referring to me.
My reaction was simply these words and a piercing look. " You need to watch you fucking mouth."
She was a big girl, but honestly I have ALOT of heart. So you be the judge. Plus, I had enough adrenaline in me to make your morbid dreams of what could of happened, a reality. Honestly, I almosted wished she just would of ...... you know cus anything after that ..... self defense.
My car broke down, I'm so sad. I actually really like my car. I mean, the car really does nothing for my ego, but it gets me around. I have enough money to go and get a new car, but I am trying my best to salvage what the Honda has left. Now, it's the altanator. =(
I cannot wait until September!!! I took the pool shift for the summer. In Sept, is when all of the girls move inside of the casino for the winter. I am SO excited! I tried taking leave from work Sep 1 - 9 to go to Boston with one of my friends, but I was denied the time off. However, when we move inside I will be taking a 2 month leave. At this point I can go anywhere I want and still come back and have a job.
I have so many places in mind. I can't wait!!
I recenlty just got back from San Fransico California. I was visiting my friend Brian. Brian, is also the same guy I went to Thailand with.
He's an awesome guy. We have alot of fun together. He's starting his own show soon. More on this later.
As for love ..... well, I don't really want anyone right now. I think I have a lot of things to work on about me, before I can be good for anyone else.
I was really into my EX from MO. for a while. I saw him this summer, and realized all the reasons I did like him, and recalled how amazing of a person he was.
Yet, I feel like I just snapped out of something. I don't want to be with him anymore, and I won't be waiting for him ever again. He was expecting to see me when I flew back home, but I won't be seeing him. I in fact called and said these same words to him.
"We've had good times, but it's over now. It's time for us to move on."
He's a good person. I wish him all the best. It's just I've left the nest, I'm growing up, I'm changing and learning and growing everyday. I just don't feel like we're on the same page anymore. I don't want to hold him back with any thoughts of us being together. I'm moving on.
In my journery down these roads alone, I'll be sure to update on any amazing or horrid dates. One, can only hope that I find stimulating conversation. It's so scarce .....
Sometimes I find it hard to pick one guy out from the next. It's an annoying illusion that everyone is the same. I know everyone is unique and different in their own way but jeez. Must I pawn and search for these qualities and .... Why can't they be obvious differences. Sometimes when I'm on the prawl it's like a constant repeat of the same people.
This is not to say " Hey look at me, I have so much to offer." because maybe I don't, but how many people do you know, with a name like Marnica. Atleast you can appreciate that as an obvious difference. It's like I say my name and people are automatically like. FLASH FLASH FLASH her names not Sarah. Hold the phone!! lol!!
How many people do you know who are my age, and my race. I factor in age because the older and older the people you're looking at, the less and less you will see interacial mixing and vice versa.
I like wierd and unique and different. I don't want to have to fish through a bunch of clones to get to a collectors item.
So I'm not looking anymore. Especially sense the thought of doing so annoys me at the moment.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Random .....Random .... Random ....
Why is it that, whenever a person tries to emphasise how hurt or upset or moved they are by something they say the same thing, every time. They say, "you wanna know how upset I was .... I cried." I cried.
Now, I was thinking maybe it would be just as moving to say something like I through a table or I slit my wrist. Also, it brings about another important question. How do you know if this person really cried or if their just adding it, as a pathetic attempt to add emphasis to their otherwise cold vein emotions.
I've been spending a lot of time by myself lately. Reading books and watching movies.
Now, I was thinking maybe it would be just as moving to say something like I through a table or I slit my wrist. Also, it brings about another important question. How do you know if this person really cried or if their just adding it, as a pathetic attempt to add emphasis to their otherwise cold vein emotions.
I've been spending a lot of time by myself lately. Reading books and watching movies.
Today at work, I looked left and I saw naked women. Vouluptious bodies, full breast, and beneath them, a man and a women in a deep passinate kiss. To my left was a man blowing 50,000 dollars and with which he threw me 35 dollars. What's going through my mind at this time? One might wonder.
The primary thought that runs through my mind is, that I am strong. Now, compared to a soldier in Afghanastan. I'm not shit. However, in the war of life, I stand tall. I'm not afraid of the battle field in front of me. I'm not afraid of Vegas.
I met a guy today. He was 24, young, handsome, and was working torwards his degree in one of the top 10 schools in America.
To say that we didn't have a connection, would be a lie. We did. He had a wonderful look in his eyes, had all the charm. Some how though, I couldn't let go. There were bigger and better things on my mind, that i just couldn't let go. I wanted to partake on every feeling, but I held back.
This has been a reoccuring problem that I have had. Here I am confronted with America's most eligible bachelors, yet I can't give them all of me.
What is it that holds me back? I've asked myself countless times, yet I cannot seem to find the answer.
He told me, " You're going to live a life full of regrets ....."
I wondered, if he was right.
I Second guessed myself, as it only seems fitting.
I didn't give him all that he wanted.
There I was, in Hugh Hefners mansion at the palms, the top sweet. A man. young, and handsome, with a pocket full of excstasy .......... and I turned him down.
A man working torwards a law degree, and an ID to prove it.
I said no ....... and it wasn't the first time I had done something in relation to this.
What was the point of that? I wish I knew. I guess oneday maybe everything will fall into place.
What if I had of said yes to that guy I had met? I could have had him, easily. I know this. I made things so complicated. So much deeper than maybe they had to be.
Could it be, that I'm so picky that I'm going to live a life alone. Solitary, just because I felt like I was too good for someone or something.
Or could it be that I just play for keeps? Who knows ......
Could it be, that maybe the sluts of the world have something ....... besides a higher probability of contracting a disiease. Could it be that ..... i'm the stupid one. I'm the one that has turned down all the fantasies ...... all the moments that 90 yr old women dream about.
I'm sitting in my apartment alone. That's how it's always been. No permanent visitors, no one to snuggle with. Honestly, I never minded that much.
Yet, as I feel the cold days coming ..... I wonder, if I can make it a winter alone, no one to talk to when I reach the gates of rest, my apartment. I think i can. but it will be a long one. Seeking warmth somewhere in between my sheets. Hoping that my heart will illumiate on it's own. Finding comfort in the stories of others and their visits home. Hugging a pillow as if it pumps blood.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Current Post from Now on.
I drive a 1990 Honda Accord. I bought it last year some time, before that I was taking 4 buses to and back from the Las Vegas strip to summerlin or vice versa. It usually took about 3 hours to get to and from work. I love my car, I think she's gonna need some work done soon though.
Anyway, I just got home from Walgreens. There, I bought blush, sleeping pills, and a shower cap. I was strolling through the isles when a man stopped me and asked ...
"Find what you're looking for?" He was being nosy might I add.
I defensively said " What? .... "What do you mean?" I ignored him and walked away.
Now, ever sense I got my own place, and I live alone, and I live in Vegas of all places. I guess being a bitch to strangers makes me feel safer. Atleast, just the ones that I get a bad vibe from. I feel like if I'm sweet .... they want more. I call it street smarts, it's not my real personalty though, I can actually be pretty personable.
I got in my car and repeated the same thing I always do when I get in my car.
"Come on Flush!!! Come on .... don't do this to me now girl, not at Walgreens with all these creepy people outside ..."
(I call my car flush, she's named after a Royal, it's the biggest hand in poker)
She started. I was relieved. Good girl.
I haven't seen my family in a while. The last time I saw them was during the elections. Thanksgiving, Christmas, all the holidays, I spent alone away from them.
When I think about it though, I think I'd rather spend a historical day like the election night, over one of those superficial holidays. anyway.
Pretty soon, I should be going back home and probably traveling to another state as well. Boston was in the plans, sense my friend Trisha is going there but, I also have another friend that's going to Paris. Desicions .... Desicions.
So, in my most recent post. There was a guy that I wasn't suppost to call. He told me to never e-mail and yadi yadi .... well, I did anyway. I guess part of me figured that he already thought I was wacko, so what the hay right?
This guy, was real real smart and was going to Harvard too. He was my age and handsome. Well spoken. Dressed pretty good.
Well, we arent' talking. I'm positive that we won't ever again.
Theres one part that I just couldn't let go. I couldn't figure out why he talked to me like I was nobody. He just wrote me off. Basically said he didn't want anything to do with me. Like I killed his fucking dog or something. I never killed that dude's dog.
Was it really too much to ask to end things ..... as friends. He never treated me like a human being.
He was SO smart, that I Probably wouldn't have been able to stimulate him mentally. Which is something I think you have to have. I mean whenever he used a word I almost always had to have a dictionary on hand. I loved the challenge, he probably thought I was an idiot though.
To add to that. I wasn't born with a silver spoon, he was. We came from two different worlds. He may have never understood me.
He was jewish, so theres most likely a high probablilty that his parents would have hated me and disowned him for seeing me.
We live on complete opposite sides of the world.
I'm not the sane'ist person in the world.
Bla Bla Bla
All of these things I can admit. Okay, Okay, it wouldn't of worked out.
I just didn't understand why in the end, we weren't shaking on it. We should have both tapped out. I would have felt better walking away knowing that we both learned a thing or two, and that maybe we weren't for each other but if I saw him on the street I could atleast wave, not duck and cover.
Believe me, I think if I saw this guy I might seriously ..... hide. Just for fear that he might burn holes through my skull with his eyes.
I think he was a good person. In fact, I know he was. He just never let me get to know him. I wanted to see past his money and his image. He made it so hard. What little feelings I did find, were SO hard to get to that it was almost unbareable.
I was making him work for it. For me. Instilling desire, creating anticipation. Making sure are moments were memorable, because you remember more the things you worked hard for, then the things that were just given to you right
What he'll never know is the reasons I never had sex with him, before he turned me down, was so that I could keep him and because I was playing for keeps, and if I couldn't keep him I wanted him to atleast have feelings for me. That's what I was waiting for, the feelings. And it takes time. Passion. I guess they never came, the feelings, or better yet they didn't develope in time.
Fuck it.
Last but not least. The guy I was in Love with from St. Louis, Aaaaa yes. We never told each other we loved each other. Well folks, Guess what? He told me he loved me. He said the words that are so hard for me to say. I almost shit in my pants. All I remeber, is this is how it happened.
Him: "I love you ..."
Me: "What??!!!"
It took us basically a year and a half to finaly admit it to each other, and you know what? I'm proud of it (I said it back). He's a good dude. When I talk to him I feel like I'm on cloud nine.
He challenges me metally. He only agrees with me sometimes, and when he does disagree, he always seems to be right and changes my perspective into something less tainted and more beautiful. He also has a degree in philosophy. So did the last guy I was talking about. I've had the pleasure of being around some amazing people. I have always attracted philosophical people in my life.
He makes me laugh, and makes me smile. Most importantly though, I feel like he's my best friend. I can tell him anything and not feel stupid. I can even tell him when another guy totally disses me and not feel stupid. I can tell him that I'm on level 95 on a computer game and not feel stupid. We race each other to see who wins. We make fun of each other like we're eight years old. We're passionate. We fight and yell at each other, then one of us always tries to pretend like nothing happened. You know? The old subject change. We play onliner poker together and he yells at me the entire time.
"Why!!!! Why did you do that?!!! ...... No!!! Noo!!! You should fold that!!! Why would you raise right there??? Nooo!! .. God!! I can't stand this!!! I can't watch this anymore!!!" lol.
I'm working on my poker. =)
The fact of the matter still is this.
He's not here with me in Vegas. I'm gonna have to let him go. I'm tired of wishing some one who isn't here was here.
Last but not least. The guy I was in Love with from St. Louis, Aaaaa yes. We never told each other we loved each other. Well folks, Guess what? He told me he loved me. He said the words that are so hard for me to say. I almost shit in my pants. All I remeber, is this is how it happened.
Him: "I love you ..."
Me: "What??!!!"
It took us basically a year and a half to finaly admit it to each other, and you know what? I'm proud of it (I said it back). He's a good dude. When I talk to him I feel like I'm on cloud nine.
He challenges me metally. He only agrees with me sometimes, and when he does disagree, he always seems to be right and changes my perspective into something less tainted and more beautiful. He also has a degree in philosophy. So did the last guy I was talking about. I've had the pleasure of being around some amazing people. I have always attracted philosophical people in my life.
He makes me laugh, and makes me smile. Most importantly though, I feel like he's my best friend. I can tell him anything and not feel stupid. I can even tell him when another guy totally disses me and not feel stupid. I can tell him that I'm on level 95 on a computer game and not feel stupid. We race each other to see who wins. We make fun of each other like we're eight years old. We're passionate. We fight and yell at each other, then one of us always tries to pretend like nothing happened. You know? The old subject change. We play onliner poker together and he yells at me the entire time.
"Why!!!! Why did you do that?!!! ...... No!!! Noo!!! You should fold that!!! Why would you raise right there??? Nooo!! .. God!! I can't stand this!!! I can't watch this anymore!!!" lol.
I'm working on my poker. =)
The fact of the matter still is this.
He's not here with me in Vegas. I'm gonna have to let him go. I'm tired of wishing some one who isn't here was here.
I don't think I've honestly ever really commited myself to someone, and I'd like to try it one day. What a scary word commitment. ehhh lol.
I went out with a bunch of girls from work. We all mobbed deep to club Prive. We danced and drank vodka, or whatever was on the table. I think there was one guy with us from work. He trickled off along with a few others by the end of the night.
After Prive, we went to XS, and sense we work there, we got our own table easy. We had so much fun!! We danced all night. Laughing, and smiling at each other, taking pictures. I smoked, which is not good. That's how I knew I was drunk though.
The diversity in Vegas is so beautiful. We are the second most diverse city in America. New York is number one. Man, I'd love to see New York. If you look at the picture of me and all the girls, you can see it. We are all different. Differnet shades, different smiles. It's not so black and white like MO, where I'm originally from.
By the end of night. Everyone had left exept for one other cocktail waitress that I work with.
I went out with a bunch of girls from work. We all mobbed deep to club Prive. We danced and drank vodka, or whatever was on the table. I think there was one guy with us from work. He trickled off along with a few others by the end of the night.
After Prive, we went to XS, and sense we work there, we got our own table easy. We had so much fun!! We danced all night. Laughing, and smiling at each other, taking pictures. I smoked, which is not good. That's how I knew I was drunk though.
The diversity in Vegas is so beautiful. We are the second most diverse city in America. New York is number one. Man, I'd love to see New York. If you look at the picture of me and all the girls, you can see it. We are all different. Differnet shades, different smiles. It's not so black and white like MO, where I'm originally from.
By the end of night. Everyone had left exept for one other cocktail waitress that I work with.
(She's the Blond next to me on the stripper pole, we're not sure who the other girl is).
There was a couple of shots left in the bottle, we shared them together, and just kind of laughed at the situation: We were the last two standing.
At some point, I decided that it was time for us to go home. Now, we are both completely trashed. I decided the smartest thing to do would be to rode dog it with Christina back to her house , make sure she was safe, and then take a taxi back to my car.
To make a long story short, she and I talked until the sun came up. Christina had a lot of things on her mind. She was going through a lot. A lot more than I had ever read on her face, just seeing her at work. She cried, and has she told me all of her problems, wants and hopes in life, and how she felt about them. She was never more beautiful. I saw a sweet, vulnerable girl with a heart bigger than the world could ever see. I would never look at her the same after that day.
She also told me her story. The story of how she got the job at the Wynn. How happy she was, how much it meant to her, and how much it changed her life. Maybe one day you'll hear her story and mine too. We were all picked to work at the Wynn for a reason. It wasn't just how we looked, but who we are too. I'm am so proud of where I work. You dont believe me ask anyone from Vegas about the Wynn and they'll always say the same thing.
"Man it's hard to get a job there ......"
Lastly, had a verbal coaching at work, or in other words got reemed by my boss. I know she's just doing her job, but that doesn't change the fact that it sucks being given a list of reasons on why you suck. I'm gonna try and fix the problems I'm having. It just sucks because sometimes I feel like trouble always finds me.
Heres one of things I got in trouble for, answering the phones as follows ....
"Thank you for calling the fith demension this is Marnica how may I direct your existence?"
Apparently that is an inappropriate way to answer the phone. Who Knew?
Yeah ..... I'll work on not being funny. Come on .... That's funny. =)
At some point, I decided that it was time for us to go home. Now, we are both completely trashed. I decided the smartest thing to do would be to rode dog it with Christina back to her house , make sure she was safe, and then take a taxi back to my car.
To make a long story short, she and I talked until the sun came up. Christina had a lot of things on her mind. She was going through a lot. A lot more than I had ever read on her face, just seeing her at work. She cried, and has she told me all of her problems, wants and hopes in life, and how she felt about them. She was never more beautiful. I saw a sweet, vulnerable girl with a heart bigger than the world could ever see. I would never look at her the same after that day.
She also told me her story. The story of how she got the job at the Wynn. How happy she was, how much it meant to her, and how much it changed her life. Maybe one day you'll hear her story and mine too. We were all picked to work at the Wynn for a reason. It wasn't just how we looked, but who we are too. I'm am so proud of where I work. You dont believe me ask anyone from Vegas about the Wynn and they'll always say the same thing.
"Man it's hard to get a job there ......"
Lastly, had a verbal coaching at work, or in other words got reemed by my boss. I know she's just doing her job, but that doesn't change the fact that it sucks being given a list of reasons on why you suck. I'm gonna try and fix the problems I'm having. It just sucks because sometimes I feel like trouble always finds me.
Heres one of things I got in trouble for, answering the phones as follows ....
"Thank you for calling the fith demension this is Marnica how may I direct your existence?"
Apparently that is an inappropriate way to answer the phone. Who Knew?
Yeah ..... I'll work on not being funny. Come on .... That's funny. =)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
JUST A HEADS UP
FROM THIS POINT RIGHT HERE, I WILL BE POSTING POST FROM MY OLD BLOG ON MYSPACE. I DON'T USE MYSPACE ANYMORE AND THINKING ABOUT DELETING IT. I'D LIKE TO HAVE ALL OF MY WRITING IN ONE PLACE NONE OF THIS WILL BE CURRENT INFO ON ME. HOWEVER IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF MY JOURNEY FROM HOME. THEREFORE THESE ENTRIES ARE PRETTY DEAR TO ME. SO, IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED HOW A ENDED UP IN VEGAS. HERE YA GO!! AFTERWARDS, I WILL POST A CURRENT BLOG PROBABLY WITH IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS WHEN I HAVE TIME. SORRY FOR THE OUT OF ORDER RANDOMNESS AND IF YOU'VE READ MY BLOG BEFORE YOU CAN OBVIOUSLY SKIP THROUGH THE RE-RUN SORRY. IF YOU WANT MY CURRENT BLOGS, YOU'LL HAVE TO SCROLL TO THE BEGINNING. IT'S BASICALLY ABOUT WORK AND ME BITCHING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE. SORTA LIKE REAL LIFE SEX IN THE CITY. =)
BLOG IMPORT
Sunday, March 30, 2008
San Fransico.
Current mood: anxious
Category: Travel and Places
Man, I knew this day was coming, for a long time. Which is partially the reason why I could never settle down with anyone. I have always wanted to travel. It was a promise I had made to myself. So I am creating this blog, so that anyone that gives a flying fuck, can come along on the journey with me. I’ll either start this in a second, or like toomarow. Not sure yet,,,,,,
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San Fransico.
Current mood: anxious
Category: Travel and Places
Man, I knew this day was coming, for a long time. Which is partially the reason why I could never settle down with anyone. I have always wanted to travel. It was a promise I had made to myself. So I am creating this blog, so that anyone that gives a flying fuck, can come along on the journey with me. I’ll either start this in a second, or like toomarow. Not sure yet,,,,,,
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Monday, March 31, 2008
Part 1: The beginning
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Travel and Places
Yah, so our adventure started out pretty action filled. I had about three days to get packed. I ran all over town trying to get all of the necessary items I would need. There was so many people that I wanted to say goodbye to but so little time. So Brian picked me up at my house ...Jamie was there.... I miss her. We said our good-byes, and made our way off to the airport.
Brian has traveled around his entire life, but me, I had never really set foot in an airport...(so just use your imagination.). We checked in our bags and then looked for our gate. First, we had to make it through security. I had to take off my shoes and proceeded to let the female security guard "feel me up." ....I felt violated! She kept making me laugh while she smiled, "we’ve got a live one here!" As I thought "I think I’m in love with her!" (Jooookeee).
Ounce we found our gate, we both decided to go our seperate ways. It’s pretty sweet! We both get our own space, yet we still know to have each others back. I left him to his burger restaurant, promised that I would return in 15 minutes, and I wandered off to look for something that would interest me. I walked and walked breathing in the air, every breath a little longer than the first, trying to take in how much my life has changed in the past two weeks.....I mean serously things have changed. Well, I found my ice tea and a sandwhich and went looking for my gate.
Yah so I bet you saw this one coming..... I got lost (are you surprised?). I started fliippin out like it was New Years Eve at Harrahs. I went one way and then I would turn around and go the other way, but every way looked the same. "OMG!" I thought to myself, "I have waited for this moment my entire life, and I’m going to miss my flight, and he’s going to leave me here, and , and, and." So I attempted to call Brian,.... over,.... and over, ...and over,.. and well you get the point. He wouldn’t answer. What was going on? Maybe it wasn’t meant for me to leave. Well, I figured it all out! I left the freakin termial! Who does that? Well, it wasn’t so bad except for the fact that I had to go through security again and get all my stuff re-examined and get re-felt up (that was my favorite part, I did it on purpose just for that!) So I was home free right? I thought so, until they asked for my boarding pass. Crap! Brian had it....ahhhhhhh!
Luckily Brian called me right then. I explained to him the situation! I don’t think I was quite taking in the urgency of the matter, until I saw him turning the corner gasping for air. He waved my ticket in their face like it was the meaning of life and he wanted to share. I looked at him ounce, and whispered into the air "I’m sorry." He nodded at me and closed his eyes to assure me that everything would be okay......When really, everthing wasn’t okay.
I made it through!....Finally! Only thing was they took my lipton tea. I was pissed about that! For atleast 10 minutes.....Brian looked at me and said let’s go! He took off like he was getting payed for it! I lagged behind in my high heels doing the best that I could. I screamed "Whats wrong!" He panted "Our flight is leaving now! Why did you leave the terminal?" At this point I realized that it was GO time! I put my shoes in my hand raced down the isles like there was a bomb explosion in the other direction. I thought it was funny...however brian didn’t exactly think so. I mean here we are running down isle after isle full speed ahead, while everyone else is sitting or standing around calm as shit, turning their heads to stare at us screaming at each other! I don’t care what he says ......that was fun!
Brian struggled for his words, over his odd patterned breathing, "Did the flight leave?" ..."No." The whatever you call that lady said "We held the plane for you." We looked at each other in disbelief. I felt special, I think he was embarassed, whatever works....And now the adventure has begun! First Class (Welcome to the good life!).
We flew from St. Louis to Denver Colarado, to San Fransico. We had complementary wine the entire ride! I thing at some point we also consumed vodka. I never got too waisted, because I figured puking on a plane would have to be the worst! They offered us free food. It was really exiting "hmmm" ...."pa--st-a annnd vege-ta-bles." I read, I opened it Cool! It was suppose to be gourmet, but it was more like GourtYUCK!. Jesus! That stuff was horrible! Whoever invented that stuff ....oh nevermind. I put my airplane head phones on and rocked out in my seat. Banging my head as I gazed out of the window looking at the layered clouds, and watched everything I knew dissappear. Brian sunk down loooow in his air plane seat slightly nodding his head to the music. Although he looked like a gangster then , eventually he was passed out on my shoulder drooling his heart out. We had plenty of empty bottles of wine at our feet. I reclined my seat back, kicked my feet up. "One more blanket please." "Yeah OJ is fine!" I think our flight attendant may have been the nicest guy in the world! Brian would say "one more pillow please, yes thank you so much, she has back problems." This is so not true...but we did have like 5 pillows for like no reason. My ears hurt so bad when I got off the plane.....I blew and sneezed Geeez..
Anyways, I’m out of here for now. I won’t have a laptop like I had thought. We will be staying in a hostile in Thailand that cost 16 dollars a night, that’s 8 dollars a piece. We are hoping that they will be providing internet connections there. So I will try my best to keep up with this blog. Oh and not to freak anyone out, but Brian’s mom says that if you smoke weed in Thailand, or smuggle it in, or even get it planted on you, you will be sent to prison for life or even get the death penaly. Also, when you cross the street in Thailand you have to make sure you presume that everyone wants to kill you. Hence they aint stoppin holmes. If that’s not enough to freak you out, you have to watch your drinks so that they don’t knock you out cold, take you to a hotel and cut your kidneys out. Kidney theft is really popular out there. WTF! OMG! scary stuff. For real. I leave toomarow morning. I’ll try to keep in touch.
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Part 1: The beginning
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Travel and Places
Yah, so our adventure started out pretty action filled. I had about three days to get packed. I ran all over town trying to get all of the necessary items I would need. There was so many people that I wanted to say goodbye to but so little time. So Brian picked me up at my house ...Jamie was there.... I miss her. We said our good-byes, and made our way off to the airport.
Brian has traveled around his entire life, but me, I had never really set foot in an airport...(so just use your imagination.). We checked in our bags and then looked for our gate. First, we had to make it through security. I had to take off my shoes and proceeded to let the female security guard "feel me up." ....I felt violated! She kept making me laugh while she smiled, "we’ve got a live one here!" As I thought "I think I’m in love with her!" (Jooookeee).
Ounce we found our gate, we both decided to go our seperate ways. It’s pretty sweet! We both get our own space, yet we still know to have each others back. I left him to his burger restaurant, promised that I would return in 15 minutes, and I wandered off to look for something that would interest me. I walked and walked breathing in the air, every breath a little longer than the first, trying to take in how much my life has changed in the past two weeks.....I mean serously things have changed. Well, I found my ice tea and a sandwhich and went looking for my gate.
Yah so I bet you saw this one coming..... I got lost (are you surprised?). I started fliippin out like it was New Years Eve at Harrahs. I went one way and then I would turn around and go the other way, but every way looked the same. "OMG!" I thought to myself, "I have waited for this moment my entire life, and I’m going to miss my flight, and he’s going to leave me here, and , and, and." So I attempted to call Brian,.... over,.... and over, ...and over,.. and well you get the point. He wouldn’t answer. What was going on? Maybe it wasn’t meant for me to leave. Well, I figured it all out! I left the freakin termial! Who does that? Well, it wasn’t so bad except for the fact that I had to go through security again and get all my stuff re-examined and get re-felt up (that was my favorite part, I did it on purpose just for that!) So I was home free right? I thought so, until they asked for my boarding pass. Crap! Brian had it....ahhhhhhh!
Luckily Brian called me right then. I explained to him the situation! I don’t think I was quite taking in the urgency of the matter, until I saw him turning the corner gasping for air. He waved my ticket in their face like it was the meaning of life and he wanted to share. I looked at him ounce, and whispered into the air "I’m sorry." He nodded at me and closed his eyes to assure me that everything would be okay......When really, everthing wasn’t okay.
I made it through!....Finally! Only thing was they took my lipton tea. I was pissed about that! For atleast 10 minutes.....Brian looked at me and said let’s go! He took off like he was getting payed for it! I lagged behind in my high heels doing the best that I could. I screamed "Whats wrong!" He panted "Our flight is leaving now! Why did you leave the terminal?" At this point I realized that it was GO time! I put my shoes in my hand raced down the isles like there was a bomb explosion in the other direction. I thought it was funny...however brian didn’t exactly think so. I mean here we are running down isle after isle full speed ahead, while everyone else is sitting or standing around calm as shit, turning their heads to stare at us screaming at each other! I don’t care what he says ......that was fun!
Brian struggled for his words, over his odd patterned breathing, "Did the flight leave?" ..."No." The whatever you call that lady said "We held the plane for you." We looked at each other in disbelief. I felt special, I think he was embarassed, whatever works....And now the adventure has begun! First Class (Welcome to the good life!).
We flew from St. Louis to Denver Colarado, to San Fransico. We had complementary wine the entire ride! I thing at some point we also consumed vodka. I never got too waisted, because I figured puking on a plane would have to be the worst! They offered us free food. It was really exiting "hmmm" ...."pa--st-a annnd vege-ta-bles." I read, I opened it Cool! It was suppose to be gourmet, but it was more like GourtYUCK!. Jesus! That stuff was horrible! Whoever invented that stuff ....oh nevermind. I put my airplane head phones on and rocked out in my seat. Banging my head as I gazed out of the window looking at the layered clouds, and watched everything I knew dissappear. Brian sunk down loooow in his air plane seat slightly nodding his head to the music. Although he looked like a gangster then , eventually he was passed out on my shoulder drooling his heart out. We had plenty of empty bottles of wine at our feet. I reclined my seat back, kicked my feet up. "One more blanket please." "Yeah OJ is fine!" I think our flight attendant may have been the nicest guy in the world! Brian would say "one more pillow please, yes thank you so much, she has back problems." This is so not true...but we did have like 5 pillows for like no reason. My ears hurt so bad when I got off the plane.....I blew and sneezed Geeez..
Anyways, I’m out of here for now. I won’t have a laptop like I had thought. We will be staying in a hostile in Thailand that cost 16 dollars a night, that’s 8 dollars a piece. We are hoping that they will be providing internet connections there. So I will try my best to keep up with this blog. Oh and not to freak anyone out, but Brian’s mom says that if you smoke weed in Thailand, or smuggle it in, or even get it planted on you, you will be sent to prison for life or even get the death penaly. Also, when you cross the street in Thailand you have to make sure you presume that everyone wants to kill you. Hence they aint stoppin holmes. If that’s not enough to freak you out, you have to watch your drinks so that they don’t knock you out cold, take you to a hotel and cut your kidneys out. Kidney theft is really popular out there. WTF! OMG! scary stuff. For real. I leave toomarow morning. I’ll try to keep in touch.
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Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Part 1: Awake
Current mood: ashamed
Category: Friends
I have had this friend for like five years, that I care very much about. Although he has been far away, we always kept in contact. He always told me about his achievements in life or his love stories, he was my friend. He is super pissed at me right now for reasons that I will not disclose. Everyone in San Fransico is sleeping. Brian, his mother, his cousins, and the other like eight people that live here! I am just wide awake, one of the great side effects from working in a casino for 3 freakin years...(don’tcha just love it.) His mom has her own bed, brian has his own bed, and I have mine on the floor, which brian should be sleeping on, but he kind of wiesled his way into sleeping on the comfy bed. Oh well, I’m the only one awake anyway. How they can sleep through the massive amounts of noise I have made recently I’m not sure. Brain is suppose to be awake packing....yah I tried waking him up, not happening. Anyways, my friend. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have tried and tried to patch things up with him. What the hell am I suppose to do? I’m almost afraid to talk to him anymore. It hurts sometimes when you grow up, and you realize that everyones not going to like you. What really sucks for me is that in most cases. It’s the people I care about the most. I know that these happenings are probably 95% my fault, but how much can I really do to change it. I’ll try my best. I can’t believe I’m going to Thailand toomarow! I mean do you ever just sit back look at your life and go........WTF? I do, and I think I like it! If anybody wants to get a heads up on Thailand go rent the movie The Beach. I guess I’ll try and close my eyes. You know what would be really cool? If I could get some food, yah you guessed it no car. Oh well Gnight. =)
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Part 1: Awake
Current mood: ashamed
Category: Friends
I have had this friend for like five years, that I care very much about. Although he has been far away, we always kept in contact. He always told me about his achievements in life or his love stories, he was my friend. He is super pissed at me right now for reasons that I will not disclose. Everyone in San Fransico is sleeping. Brian, his mother, his cousins, and the other like eight people that live here! I am just wide awake, one of the great side effects from working in a casino for 3 freakin years...(don’tcha just love it.) His mom has her own bed, brian has his own bed, and I have mine on the floor, which brian should be sleeping on, but he kind of wiesled his way into sleeping on the comfy bed. Oh well, I’m the only one awake anyway. How they can sleep through the massive amounts of noise I have made recently I’m not sure. Brain is suppose to be awake packing....yah I tried waking him up, not happening. Anyways, my friend. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have tried and tried to patch things up with him. What the hell am I suppose to do? I’m almost afraid to talk to him anymore. It hurts sometimes when you grow up, and you realize that everyones not going to like you. What really sucks for me is that in most cases. It’s the people I care about the most. I know that these happenings are probably 95% my fault, but how much can I really do to change it. I’ll try my best. I can’t believe I’m going to Thailand toomarow! I mean do you ever just sit back look at your life and go........WTF? I do, and I think I like it! If anybody wants to get a heads up on Thailand go rent the movie The Beach. I guess I’ll try and close my eyes. You know what would be really cool? If I could get some food, yah you guessed it no car. Oh well Gnight. =)
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Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Japan!
Category: Travel and Places
Hey guys, I’m still alive! We are in Japan and there is a 5 hour delay. I cant really explain much but I will probably do it later. I only have about 5 minutes left on this computer. I hope everyone is doing well. Gotta go!......
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sheri
marny i am so glad to hear you are ok. i was so worried about you!! i know we have not really kept in touch lately but i still think about you. be so careful and keep in touch on your page. i quit harrahs yesterday so good to be out of that shit hole. love ya sheri
Posted by sheri on Thursday, April 03, 2008 - 8:08 AM
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Japan!
Category: Travel and Places
Hey guys, I’m still alive! We are in Japan and there is a 5 hour delay. I cant really explain much but I will probably do it later. I only have about 5 minutes left on this computer. I hope everyone is doing well. Gotta go!......
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sheri
marny i am so glad to hear you are ok. i was so worried about you!! i know we have not really kept in touch lately but i still think about you. be so careful and keep in touch on your page. i quit harrahs yesterday so good to be out of that shit hole. love ya sheri
Posted by sheri on Thursday, April 03, 2008 - 8:08 AM
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Monday, April 07, 2008
Can I have a new room?
Finally, this is costing me 1 bat per minute so.....this going to be pretty brief. I am trying really hard to have some money management. I am paying for all of my expenses and I still don’t have a job. Brian and I moved to a hotel down the street. The one we were staying at, cost us each 45 dollars per day. The one that we have moved into cost 13 dollars per day. I hate it! It’s redicuolous. The first room, had ants all over the bed, the third room had a mouse tramping around, and then they moved us again to another room, which has a newt just chilling on the floor, and frankly, I don’t want to see the fourth room. I mean what? Is there gonna be a lion in there? A freakin elephant? Why do they cage different animals in each room? Brian has gone out on two dates so far. I on the other hand, I’m just spending time alone, it’s not so bad. I like it. Truthfully, I love it out here. I don’t want to come home, but it is the law here that they kick us out of the country in 29 days. So I will A: Come home B: Fly to malasia and re-new our visa, which means we can stay another 29 days in Phuket or C: Travel alone to another state in America, and start working. (I’m ready to travel alone after this...trust me.) I cannot write anything detailed for the lack of time and for the sake of my money management. I am down to 600 bat. I have money in a bank account, but I have been struggling with America to get my pin number, for two weeks now. When I recieve my pin number, I will run down to the phutong shopping center, and buy a laptop, so I don’t have to speed through everything! I miss all my friends. You will hear from me soon.
Hi Marnie!
Keep writing the blogs if you can afford it, (They're great!!) and if you can't, that's okay, too, because it's your adventure. I'll call Galvin tomorrow and give him a big "Ha" for you. Don't get too lonely--you'll probably meet someone to travel with that you'll have a lot of fun with soon. Gina
Posted by Gina on Monday, April 07, 2008 - 10:18 PM
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The Concert Goddess
finally! i was wondering if you were alive
i miss you so much. if you want me to send you some money, i will
western union bitches!
just hit me back.
have fun and BE CAREFUL!
love ya, and miss ya more.
jamie
Posted by The Concert Goddess on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 5:48 AM
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corey
Marnica Lindsay!!!!!! While I'm very impressed, and envious of what you are doing now. You need to know, that if at any time this whole thing goes bad, and you need to get back to us.
Find a Western Union, and then find me.
I'll get you back here.....
Have fun though baby girl, we all love you, and hope the best for you.
Be careful though.....
I won't be able to deal with anything happenning to you......
corey
Posted by corey on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 6:03 AM
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Jenny
Jennifer Duffie
I am so happy for you that you are living your dreams, and I know you are you going to be fine.... You are Marnica. You can do anything... be safe and don't do anything too crazy. Love you be safe
Posted by Jenny on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 7:32 AM
Can I have a new room?
Finally, this is costing me 1 bat per minute so.....this going to be pretty brief. I am trying really hard to have some money management. I am paying for all of my expenses and I still don’t have a job. Brian and I moved to a hotel down the street. The one we were staying at, cost us each 45 dollars per day. The one that we have moved into cost 13 dollars per day. I hate it! It’s redicuolous. The first room, had ants all over the bed, the third room had a mouse tramping around, and then they moved us again to another room, which has a newt just chilling on the floor, and frankly, I don’t want to see the fourth room. I mean what? Is there gonna be a lion in there? A freakin elephant? Why do they cage different animals in each room? Brian has gone out on two dates so far. I on the other hand, I’m just spending time alone, it’s not so bad. I like it. Truthfully, I love it out here. I don’t want to come home, but it is the law here that they kick us out of the country in 29 days. So I will A: Come home B: Fly to malasia and re-new our visa, which means we can stay another 29 days in Phuket or C: Travel alone to another state in America, and start working. (I’m ready to travel alone after this...trust me.) I cannot write anything detailed for the lack of time and for the sake of my money management. I am down to 600 bat. I have money in a bank account, but I have been struggling with America to get my pin number, for two weeks now. When I recieve my pin number, I will run down to the phutong shopping center, and buy a laptop, so I don’t have to speed through everything! I miss all my friends. You will hear from me soon.
Hi Marnie!
Keep writing the blogs if you can afford it, (They're great!!) and if you can't, that's okay, too, because it's your adventure. I'll call Galvin tomorrow and give him a big "Ha" for you. Don't get too lonely--you'll probably meet someone to travel with that you'll have a lot of fun with soon. Gina
Posted by Gina on Monday, April 07, 2008 - 10:18 PM
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The Concert Goddess
finally! i was wondering if you were alive
i miss you so much. if you want me to send you some money, i will
western union bitches!
just hit me back.
have fun and BE CAREFUL!
love ya, and miss ya more.
jamie
Posted by The Concert Goddess on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 5:48 AM
[Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]
corey
Marnica Lindsay!!!!!! While I'm very impressed, and envious of what you are doing now. You need to know, that if at any time this whole thing goes bad, and you need to get back to us.
Find a Western Union, and then find me.
I'll get you back here.....
Have fun though baby girl, we all love you, and hope the best for you.
Be careful though.....
I won't be able to deal with anything happenning to you......
corey
Posted by corey on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 6:03 AM
[Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]
Jenny
Jennifer Duffie
I am so happy for you that you are living your dreams, and I know you are you going to be fine.... You are Marnica. You can do anything... be safe and don't do anything too crazy. Love you be safe
Posted by Jenny on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 7:32 AM
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Wednesday, April 09, 2008
I’m buying a GUN!
So I finaly got my pin number and I should be okay for a little while. I have good news though.... we haven’t had any more animal problems in our guest house! The newt is still on the floor and we have declared him our pet.....yes a dead newt......What? Brian and I are both friends with a guy named Michael who was suppose to come with us on the trip, so we named the newt Michael. So everytime I see it, with it’s cute little head smashed into the floor, I just say....."Sup Mike!...What you’re not talking to me." You know maybe that’s why we haven’t had it picked up, maybe, just maybe, I love that dead newt......... Anyways, I also have some bad news. I went to a night club down here, and I lost my 250 dollar fuji camers that has all of the tightest pictures on it. I know depressing. Don’t worry though, I’ll fix it and take better pictures. You know whats wierd? I travel a lot of places on my own out here. I have re gained my independence. I love it! Traveling outside of my comfort zone, is slowly becoming the norm. If anything......I had no idea that some of the people that care about me, actually care about me. Wierd.
I wonder how many weeks I have left out here...... In about 3 days it will be Thailand New Years. Guys, get this.....All of the shops shut down. Then everybody, and I mean everbody has a water gun! NO JOKE! even the cops. There are water gun fights around the entire Island, in the shops, at the bars, everywhere. WTF? That’s something that could only exist in your dreams, when you’re like thirteen....right? Well it’s time to make some dreams reality? Don’t worry......I’ll have the biggest gun on the island. I should go buy a helmet. Yah a helmet........Oh I can’t wait to just blast a cop in the face! I’ll take lots of pictures. Oh and I have a video camera. I haven’t lost that so I will get that on here as soon as possible, the pictures might take a minute, since I have to start over grrrrrrr. Talk to you all soon!
6:49 PM 0 Comments(Add Comment) |0 KudosTranslatePowered by
I’m buying a GUN!
So I finaly got my pin number and I should be okay for a little while. I have good news though.... we haven’t had any more animal problems in our guest house! The newt is still on the floor and we have declared him our pet.....yes a dead newt......What? Brian and I are both friends with a guy named Michael who was suppose to come with us on the trip, so we named the newt Michael. So everytime I see it, with it’s cute little head smashed into the floor, I just say....."Sup Mike!...What you’re not talking to me." You know maybe that’s why we haven’t had it picked up, maybe, just maybe, I love that dead newt......... Anyways, I also have some bad news. I went to a night club down here, and I lost my 250 dollar fuji camers that has all of the tightest pictures on it. I know depressing. Don’t worry though, I’ll fix it and take better pictures. You know whats wierd? I travel a lot of places on my own out here. I have re gained my independence. I love it! Traveling outside of my comfort zone, is slowly becoming the norm. If anything......I had no idea that some of the people that care about me, actually care about me. Wierd.
I wonder how many weeks I have left out here...... In about 3 days it will be Thailand New Years. Guys, get this.....All of the shops shut down. Then everybody, and I mean everbody has a water gun! NO JOKE! even the cops. There are water gun fights around the entire Island, in the shops, at the bars, everywhere. WTF? That’s something that could only exist in your dreams, when you’re like thirteen....right? Well it’s time to make some dreams reality? Don’t worry......I’ll have the biggest gun on the island. I should go buy a helmet. Yah a helmet........Oh I can’t wait to just blast a cop in the face! I’ll take lots of pictures. Oh and I have a video camera. I haven’t lost that so I will get that on here as soon as possible, the pictures might take a minute, since I have to start over grrrrrrr. Talk to you all soon!
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Lost in Las Vegas
marnica lindsay
Last Updated: 5/27/2009
Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 100
Sign: Virgo
City: SAINT LOUIS
State: Missouri
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/5/2005
Who Gives Kudos:
sheri (2)
Ashley (2)
Category: Friends
At our hotel they give you a key with a piece of wood attached to it, and when you get inside your hotel, you have to place the wooden part in a whole by the wall, and that is the only way you can turn the lights on. So Brian told me he was going to go clubbing. I agreed and told him I would do my own thing. I sat on out on the balcony, listening to music, writhing in my journal, crying here in and there (I was drinking...i dunno.). Then as I lifted my pen to scribble my next few sentences.......the freakin’ lights go out. "Dammit!" ......I couldn’t see anything. SO here I am in the middle of Thailand, sitting in the dark, alone, can’t see shit., in a hotel. WTF? All because Brian had to take the hotel key. I tried to get another key, but the people at the desk told me that it wasn’t an option. So I left the hotel and migrated to the Burger King that was in the front of the resort. I sat out there alone for atleast an hour. Listening to music on my ipod, wrting poetry. Then out of the blue a nice american man aked me " Can I buy a cigarette from you? For 20 bat?" I assured him that the payment was unecessary." I bummed him a smoke and we commenced to having meaningful conversation, To make a long story short, atleast for the moment. I jumped on his motar bike rode to the Thailand radio station where he works, and now I am at his apartment at the very top of a hill. where you can see the whole city. He is the only reason I am using a computer at the moment. I will tell you all the amazing details later. I will have video and pictures for you! Hopefully this guy doesn’t kill me, but I am starting to realize, that I have to except the unknown, and if I don’t do anything scary, or go with someone I don’t know, or if I’m not daring. How will I ever accomplish anything? How will I ever experience anything? Brian doesn’t know where I am I hope he’s not worried.........
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sheri
i am glad you are having fun marney just be careful.
Posted by sheri on Thursday, April 03, 2008 - 5:57 PM
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Ashley
Ashley Kingsmore
That is so amazing. You are doing things that many would never dare you to do.
I give you props!
(but you do need to be careful!)
looking foward to more entries....
(and pics!)
Posted by Ashley on Friday, April 04, 2008 - 7:41 AM
I had to put these two together, I forgot the top one.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I’ll finish later
Remember the guy from Burger King? The one that I met at the very beginning of the story? I woke up this morning in his bed. blurry eyed and ready to meet the day. There is just something I love about waking up in the morning and not knowing whats going to happen that day.......and theres something I really, reeeeeally, hate about paying for it.
It is entirely impossible to find another American in this country. No one here is American, they are either from neighboring asian cities or countries, or from Swedan, France, or Australia. I was lucky to even meet Aaron. Brian and I hadn't heard from him in almost four days. He called us asking us to hang out at 1:45 in the morning, while we layed awake chatting about things that were completely irrellevant to the real current issues being.....Why was the television not working?, and also Why weren't the walls padded? He and I had both decidecd to quit one of our bad habits. He would get off of Benzo prescription pills and I would quit smoking. We both decided that if there were padded walls, that we could then express our true feelings of withdrawal by beating and kicking at them with a passion. However the walls are not padded....... So instead, we resorted to screaming at the top of our lungs in the middle of the night at our resort...... I'm sure our neighbors love us to death.
We had decided to meet Aaron at a massage school that was about 5 seconds from where we were staying. When he pulled up on his loud motar bike, I was almost relieved that there was finaly someone else that I could talk to besides Brian.
I thought it would be fun however I think Brian and Aaron somehow began to create some kind of male bonding event, in the middle of the bar. I began to slouch down in my chair, like I was the only girl at a boy scout convention. It didn't stop there...We soon arrived at Aarons house, where they camped out in the living room, saying things to each other that sounded much like a self help tape. I tip toed, unoticed, into Aaron's room, rolled around on his bed like it was the only clean thing I had touched in weeks. gazed at the ceiling and smiled at the air conditioner, as if it were taking my picture. In that moment I was happy, I was content. It never took much to make me happy. I fell asleep, alone, tucked in the fetal position ever so tightly.
I woke up that morning to channel E blasting about how Jenifer Aniston was "America's sweetheart," I contently watched with one eye open, and the other eye unwilling to participate with existing. "Yahhh," I thought to myself sarcastically "Stars and Money!" That's just the superficial BS I need to see right when I wake up in the morning in a third world country. I walked in to the living nearly running over Aarons maid. I looked left.....I looked right......gone. Both of them. I felt super left out, yet at the same time........ I felt super privledged to have so much privacy......yesssssss!
Eventually, Aaron arrived to tell me that he and my lovely friend Brian, had decided to move from the guest house where we were staying at, to another one which was closer to the beach, however, it was a little more expensive. "Thank you so very much fellas for running this by me." I whispered under my breath. I decided to do a little decision making myself. I decided to stay in the place we were staying alone. And so it went, Brian and I are currently neighbors. I am paying 500 bhat per night, and he is paying 1300 bhat per night. It takes me about fifteen minutes to walk to his house.
Hey guys I have to go I will finish this later I love you all.
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Lost in Las Vegas
marnica lindsay
Last Updated: 5/27/2009
Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 100
Sign: Virgo
City: SAINT LOUIS
State: Missouri
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/5/2005
Who Gives Kudos:
sheri (2)
Ashley (2)
Category: Friends
At our hotel they give you a key with a piece of wood attached to it, and when you get inside your hotel, you have to place the wooden part in a whole by the wall, and that is the only way you can turn the lights on. So Brian told me he was going to go clubbing. I agreed and told him I would do my own thing. I sat on out on the balcony, listening to music, writhing in my journal, crying here in and there (I was drinking...i dunno.). Then as I lifted my pen to scribble my next few sentences.......the freakin’ lights go out. "Dammit!" ......I couldn’t see anything. SO here I am in the middle of Thailand, sitting in the dark, alone, can’t see shit., in a hotel. WTF? All because Brian had to take the hotel key. I tried to get another key, but the people at the desk told me that it wasn’t an option. So I left the hotel and migrated to the Burger King that was in the front of the resort. I sat out there alone for atleast an hour. Listening to music on my ipod, wrting poetry. Then out of the blue a nice american man aked me " Can I buy a cigarette from you? For 20 bat?" I assured him that the payment was unecessary." I bummed him a smoke and we commenced to having meaningful conversation, To make a long story short, atleast for the moment. I jumped on his motar bike rode to the Thailand radio station where he works, and now I am at his apartment at the very top of a hill. where you can see the whole city. He is the only reason I am using a computer at the moment. I will tell you all the amazing details later. I will have video and pictures for you! Hopefully this guy doesn’t kill me, but I am starting to realize, that I have to except the unknown, and if I don’t do anything scary, or go with someone I don’t know, or if I’m not daring. How will I ever accomplish anything? How will I ever experience anything? Brian doesn’t know where I am I hope he’s not worried.........
4:36 PM2 Comments4 Kudos Translate Powered by
sheri
i am glad you are having fun marney just be careful.
Posted by sheri on Thursday, April 03, 2008 - 5:57 PM
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Ashley
Ashley Kingsmore
That is so amazing. You are doing things that many would never dare you to do.
I give you props!
(but you do need to be careful!)
looking foward to more entries....
(and pics!)
Posted by Ashley on Friday, April 04, 2008 - 7:41 AM
I had to put these two together, I forgot the top one.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I’ll finish later
Remember the guy from Burger King? The one that I met at the very beginning of the story? I woke up this morning in his bed. blurry eyed and ready to meet the day. There is just something I love about waking up in the morning and not knowing whats going to happen that day.......and theres something I really, reeeeeally, hate about paying for it.
It is entirely impossible to find another American in this country. No one here is American, they are either from neighboring asian cities or countries, or from Swedan, France, or Australia. I was lucky to even meet Aaron. Brian and I hadn't heard from him in almost four days. He called us asking us to hang out at 1:45 in the morning, while we layed awake chatting about things that were completely irrellevant to the real current issues being.....Why was the television not working?, and also Why weren't the walls padded? He and I had both decidecd to quit one of our bad habits. He would get off of Benzo prescription pills and I would quit smoking. We both decided that if there were padded walls, that we could then express our true feelings of withdrawal by beating and kicking at them with a passion. However the walls are not padded....... So instead, we resorted to screaming at the top of our lungs in the middle of the night at our resort...... I'm sure our neighbors love us to death.
We had decided to meet Aaron at a massage school that was about 5 seconds from where we were staying. When he pulled up on his loud motar bike, I was almost relieved that there was finaly someone else that I could talk to besides Brian.
I thought it would be fun however I think Brian and Aaron somehow began to create some kind of male bonding event, in the middle of the bar. I began to slouch down in my chair, like I was the only girl at a boy scout convention. It didn't stop there...We soon arrived at Aarons house, where they camped out in the living room, saying things to each other that sounded much like a self help tape. I tip toed, unoticed, into Aaron's room, rolled around on his bed like it was the only clean thing I had touched in weeks. gazed at the ceiling and smiled at the air conditioner, as if it were taking my picture. In that moment I was happy, I was content. It never took much to make me happy. I fell asleep, alone, tucked in the fetal position ever so tightly.
I woke up that morning to channel E blasting about how Jenifer Aniston was "America's sweetheart," I contently watched with one eye open, and the other eye unwilling to participate with existing. "Yahhh," I thought to myself sarcastically "Stars and Money!" That's just the superficial BS I need to see right when I wake up in the morning in a third world country. I walked in to the living nearly running over Aarons maid. I looked left.....I looked right......gone. Both of them. I felt super left out, yet at the same time........ I felt super privledged to have so much privacy......yesssssss!
Eventually, Aaron arrived to tell me that he and my lovely friend Brian, had decided to move from the guest house where we were staying at, to another one which was closer to the beach, however, it was a little more expensive. "Thank you so very much fellas for running this by me." I whispered under my breath. I decided to do a little decision making myself. I decided to stay in the place we were staying alone. And so it went, Brian and I are currently neighbors. I am paying 500 bhat per night, and he is paying 1300 bhat per night. It takes me about fifteen minutes to walk to his house.
Hey guys I have to go I will finish this later I love you all.
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Saturday, May 03, 2008
I was born in the U.S.A
Category: Travel and Places
Okay so I have had so many massages with in the past month, that at some point you just have to say no. I mean I can't even walk down the street without the sudden supicion that everybody and their mom knows what I look like naked.
I just got my last massage. It costed ten dollars for one hour. This last lady was a freak. "Take off, Take off" she pushed. I mean come on lady I really don't want to "bare it all" to you, I mean we just met and........ Here if you want a quick overview of what a bad massage is like. It's kind of like being abused. You are in the position, where you want to say no, but you don't know how, and the words just won't come out. If I had of said
"hey lady that's my ass! and if I wanted an ass massage I'd find a boyfriend!!"
she wouldn't have understood what I was saying anyway. In a strong accent she whispered "Sexy lady!" I wanted to quickly reply with
"hey! Your mother!" but I just giggled instead.
So I am leaving toomarow. Who knows where I will end up next, but dammit I sure as hell don't want to come home. I'm really trying to fly out to Vegas or a big city, and make it on my own. That's right guys challenge number 2!
As for Brian we pretty much went our seperate ways. I have done everything, meeting, greeting, finding and enjoying, people and things to do, on my own. I met two guys from America, Nick and Danny (I nicknamed Danny Coach, well, because he is a highschool track coach.) Coach is the coolest guy around, when we went shopping in the markets this is how he bargains.......
Seller: "600 bhat..."
Coach: "mmmmm, 300 bhat........"
Seller: "500 bhat. okay you buy now......"
Coach: "Ok, Ok, 300 bhat and I'll let you fuck my mother!"
I don't know how, but some how Coach gets away with the best price
everytime. His mom must be great in the sack! (Coach I'm joking), and I didn't mean it.... I love your super man tattoo." ehem
Nick and I got along really well too, he and I sat and stared at shopping store sign for like an hour and a half describing to each other what we thought it looked like. I couldn't stop laughing because most of what we where saying made no sense what so ever. "It looks like a pirate,......no it's a happy face..... no wait the blue part is the ocean, yah, and the white part looks like saaand, yaaaah for sure." So deep aren't we?
Coach is a really good guy, and has almost convinced me to go back to school. He apparently thinks I have that wierd thing that everyone else has, you know, a brain, I don't know what he's talking about...........
I'm gonna head out and I'll let wegas know (That's the name of my diary, Who ever gives a shit....."WEGAS") where I end up. Who knows, I could end up at your front door, at your slot machine, or on your bar stool," But, god I hope not!
Before I leave though, I want to get something off my chest. I made a friend here is name is Nay Toe Razarr. He is from Burma however, he is not Burmese he is Rhakine. Rhakie I believe, is the Southern part of Burma. I don't know how many of you have been following the news, but there is extreme political trauma existing at this very moment in Burma. Burma is constructed under one of the worst goverments I have ever seen in my life, and whats worse is the American military can't do anything about it.
Nay Toe has travelled to Thailand, as a refugee. At night, The natives of Burma sneek out to neighboring countries, a.k.a Thailand, Bangledesh, Singapore, e.c.t. They can only leave at certain times, and if they are caught, they will, by no exceptions be killed. The people of Burma live under a authoritarian military regime that is widely codemed for it's repressive policies, and human rights abuses. The military has in some form or another controlled Burm for over forty years. In 1988, The people of Burma protested strongly against the military gov., and pushed for democracy. In return, the military killed thousands of protestors , and imprisoned many regime opponents in fatal harsh conditions. However, still promising an election in 1990.
In the 1990 elections, Auung San Suu Kyi's National league for democracy, won this election, how ever she was placed in imprisonment, and the Military Regime has never recognized the results of the 1990 elections.There is so much more and if you are interested (and you should be) look it up. THESE PEOPLE ARE DYING EVERY DAY! LOOK IT UP!!! EDUCATE YOURSELF!!! IT WILL TAKE LIKE 5 MINUTES!!! JUST TYPE IN BURMA!!! GOOOGLE IT!!!!! HINT! HINT LOOK IT UP 5 MINUTES!!!
To cut it short, The military goverment controlls the people, through, armed forces. These weapons are supplied to Burma by China. And low and behold, China is holding the Olympics this year. From my research, I have learned that there are several people in America who are going to turn off their television sets, in an attempt to boycott the Olympics, and somehow get China to stop cooperateing with the Burmish Government, by selling them weapons. It is your personal choice. However. sometimes I feel so powerless, and if not watching the Olympics, is the only way I can put in an effot to help save Burma and their people. SO BE IT!!!! It's not that hard WATCH A FREAKIN MOVIE OR SOMETHIN WILL YA........... JESUS!!!!
(I am welcoming any comments or opinions on this issue)
Se ya later peeps, may I end up where ever I am suppose to end up. Well I guess where ever I end up will be where I am suppoe to be because if it wasn't then I wouldn't be there......................Now I'm just rambling,,,,,Later.
....
7:24 AM1 Comment2 Kudos Translate Powered by
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Gina
From ass massages to Burmese oppression--this great travel blog has it all!!! The regime in Burma is very, very bad and so far it seems that nothing much has been done to help the Burmese people. It wouldn't hurt to boycott the Olympics, but considering that Americans buy an incredible amount of Chinese crap (remember the poisonous pet food and the lead-tainted toys?) and that the Chinese own so much of our debt and treasury bills, I don't know that it would be much more than a symbolic gesture. But----very important--symbolism is also very important. Thse interested in learning more about Burma can go to www.freeburma.org
Have a safe trip back home, Marni, and let us know wherever you land.
XOXO, Gina
P.S. Quote of the day: "Wherever you go, there you are."
P.S.S. I'll print this out so Sherry Wilson can read it. I'm sure she'd love to read about more of your adventures while she's sitting on the crapper at Harahs.
Posted by Gina on Sunday, May 04, 2008 - 12:28 AM
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I was born in the U.S.A
Category: Travel and Places
Okay so I have had so many massages with in the past month, that at some point you just have to say no. I mean I can't even walk down the street without the sudden supicion that everybody and their mom knows what I look like naked.
I just got my last massage. It costed ten dollars for one hour. This last lady was a freak. "Take off, Take off" she pushed. I mean come on lady I really don't want to "bare it all" to you, I mean we just met and........ Here if you want a quick overview of what a bad massage is like. It's kind of like being abused. You are in the position, where you want to say no, but you don't know how, and the words just won't come out. If I had of said
"hey lady that's my ass! and if I wanted an ass massage I'd find a boyfriend!!"
she wouldn't have understood what I was saying anyway. In a strong accent she whispered "Sexy lady!" I wanted to quickly reply with
"hey! Your mother!" but I just giggled instead.
So I am leaving toomarow. Who knows where I will end up next, but dammit I sure as hell don't want to come home. I'm really trying to fly out to Vegas or a big city, and make it on my own. That's right guys challenge number 2!
As for Brian we pretty much went our seperate ways. I have done everything, meeting, greeting, finding and enjoying, people and things to do, on my own. I met two guys from America, Nick and Danny (I nicknamed Danny Coach, well, because he is a highschool track coach.) Coach is the coolest guy around, when we went shopping in the markets this is how he bargains.......
Seller: "600 bhat..."
Coach: "mmmmm, 300 bhat........"
Seller: "500 bhat. okay you buy now......"
Coach: "Ok, Ok, 300 bhat and I'll let you fuck my mother!"
I don't know how, but some how Coach gets away with the best price
everytime. His mom must be great in the sack! (Coach I'm joking), and I didn't mean it.... I love your super man tattoo." ehem
Nick and I got along really well too, he and I sat and stared at shopping store sign for like an hour and a half describing to each other what we thought it looked like. I couldn't stop laughing because most of what we where saying made no sense what so ever. "It looks like a pirate,......no it's a happy face..... no wait the blue part is the ocean, yah, and the white part looks like saaand, yaaaah for sure." So deep aren't we?
Coach is a really good guy, and has almost convinced me to go back to school. He apparently thinks I have that wierd thing that everyone else has, you know, a brain, I don't know what he's talking about...........
I'm gonna head out and I'll let wegas know (That's the name of my diary, Who ever gives a shit....."WEGAS") where I end up. Who knows, I could end up at your front door, at your slot machine, or on your bar stool," But, god I hope not!
Before I leave though, I want to get something off my chest. I made a friend here is name is Nay Toe Razarr. He is from Burma however, he is not Burmese he is Rhakine. Rhakie I believe, is the Southern part of Burma. I don't know how many of you have been following the news, but there is extreme political trauma existing at this very moment in Burma. Burma is constructed under one of the worst goverments I have ever seen in my life, and whats worse is the American military can't do anything about it.
Nay Toe has travelled to Thailand, as a refugee. At night, The natives of Burma sneek out to neighboring countries, a.k.a Thailand, Bangledesh, Singapore, e.c.t. They can only leave at certain times, and if they are caught, they will, by no exceptions be killed. The people of Burma live under a authoritarian military regime that is widely codemed for it's repressive policies, and human rights abuses. The military has in some form or another controlled Burm for over forty years. In 1988, The people of Burma protested strongly against the military gov., and pushed for democracy. In return, the military killed thousands of protestors , and imprisoned many regime opponents in fatal harsh conditions. However, still promising an election in 1990.
In the 1990 elections, Auung San Suu Kyi's National league for democracy, won this election, how ever she was placed in imprisonment, and the Military Regime has never recognized the results of the 1990 elections.There is so much more and if you are interested (and you should be) look it up. THESE PEOPLE ARE DYING EVERY DAY! LOOK IT UP!!! EDUCATE YOURSELF!!! IT WILL TAKE LIKE 5 MINUTES!!! JUST TYPE IN BURMA!!! GOOOGLE IT!!!!! HINT! HINT LOOK IT UP 5 MINUTES!!!
To cut it short, The military goverment controlls the people, through, armed forces. These weapons are supplied to Burma by China. And low and behold, China is holding the Olympics this year. From my research, I have learned that there are several people in America who are going to turn off their television sets, in an attempt to boycott the Olympics, and somehow get China to stop cooperateing with the Burmish Government, by selling them weapons. It is your personal choice. However. sometimes I feel so powerless, and if not watching the Olympics, is the only way I can put in an effot to help save Burma and their people. SO BE IT!!!! It's not that hard WATCH A FREAKIN MOVIE OR SOMETHIN WILL YA........... JESUS!!!!
(I am welcoming any comments or opinions on this issue)
Se ya later peeps, may I end up where ever I am suppose to end up. Well I guess where ever I end up will be where I am suppoe to be because if it wasn't then I wouldn't be there......................Now I'm just rambling,,,,,Later.
....
7:24 AM1 Comment2 Kudos Translate Powered by
Write your comment here...
Gina
From ass massages to Burmese oppression--this great travel blog has it all!!! The regime in Burma is very, very bad and so far it seems that nothing much has been done to help the Burmese people. It wouldn't hurt to boycott the Olympics, but considering that Americans buy an incredible amount of Chinese crap (remember the poisonous pet food and the lead-tainted toys?) and that the Chinese own so much of our debt and treasury bills, I don't know that it would be much more than a symbolic gesture. But----very important--symbolism is also very important. Thse interested in learning more about Burma can go to www.freeburma.org
Have a safe trip back home, Marni, and let us know wherever you land.
XOXO, Gina
P.S. Quote of the day: "Wherever you go, there you are."
P.S.S. I'll print this out so Sherry Wilson can read it. I'm sure she'd love to read about more of your adventures while she's sitting on the crapper at Harahs.
Posted by Gina on Sunday, May 04, 2008 - 12:28 AM
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Thursday, May 15, 2008
Russian Rullete(how do you spell that?) with a coin.
I wanted to stay in Thailand forever! The people, the landscape, the prices, the massages, the everything, I loved it! My plan, was to take a 5 hour bus to Burma, and extend my visa for three months, and stay in the country.
That morning, I woke up and called Brian. I hadn't talked to him in a couple of days. He answered "Hey are you in America?" "No! Retard!" I joked "I'm in my hostile." He told me to come and talk with him and his girlfriend. Which, basically meant to talk to him, because her vocabulary pretty much consisted of hello, good bye, I liiiiike, and verrry niiice! However, I have beome very accustomed to reading different facial expressions.
Hold on I have to go get a soda.......................................
Anyways, So I caught a moter bike, and rode down to his hotel. The taxi driver got lost and obviously had no clue what I was saying, but I eventually arrived at my destination.
When I arrived Brian began to speak in morse code spelling out his sentences.
"I D-O-N-T L-I-K-E-A-S-I-A-N-G-I-R-L-S!" He spelled.
It took me a while to catch on, but I eventually got it. Duh Marni, He doesn't want his new girlfriend to hear how he really feels.
"Oh!" I said, "Why?"
"I-D-O-N-T-L-I-K-E-S-L-A-N-T-E-D-E-Y-E-S!"
Well, I had no inner desire to be with him, but I was part Asian. Should I have been offended? Nah, I thought to myself, whatever turns you on dude!
He wanted to go home though he was, home sick. Dammit! I really didn't want to leave, not only that, but he put it on me to decide. Anyone that knows me, knows that I can't make desicions, especially big ones! So we did the next most logical thing, when you are in predicaments like these..... We flipped a coin. Heads we go, and tails we stay.
"May we end up, where we are suppose to end up, and wherever we go, may it be the right way." I said, as if the coin held my fate.
Brian flipped it. It tossed, it turned, it hit the dresser, landed on the floor did a half ass spin, and layed flat. HEADS! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! I thought.
Whats even funnier is that we actually listened to the coin. We left that night at five o'clock to Bangkok, If you look at my pictures I kind of look sad. However, in the end it all worked out.
A Cyclone hit Burma, and killed over 100,000 people. The same day I was scheduled to be there! In the same place where I was suppose to get my visa extended! WTF! I could have died there. Who would have thought that you could play russian rullete with a coin. Not only this, but an earthquake hit China maybe a week later and has killed X amount of people as well. I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, and she was like "What did you do?" I replied "Mom, I just left, I don't have anything to do with anything." Lol. What is a little strange, however, is that if you have kept up with my blog at all, you should know that in previous entries, I have discussed my disgust with China right now, and my worries for the people of Burma! Low and Behold, maybe a week or two later there are major disasters in both places. Wierd! WTF? I mean it could have been anywhere else.
I am happy to say, however, that it maybe it's not my time to leave this planet. I guess I have some business left to attend to. Wherever I end up may it be the right place!
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Thursday, May 15, 2008
Russian Rullete(how do you spell that?) with a coin.
I wanted to stay in Thailand forever! The people, the landscape, the prices, the massages, the everything, I loved it! My plan, was to take a 5 hour bus to Burma, and extend my visa for three months, and stay in the country.
That morning, I woke up and called Brian. I hadn't talked to him in a couple of days. He answered "Hey are you in America?" "No! Retard!" I joked "I'm in my hostile." He told me to come and talk with him and his girlfriend. Which, basically meant to talk to him, because her vocabulary pretty much consisted of hello, good bye, I liiiiike, and verrry niiice! However, I have beome very accustomed to reading different facial expressions.
Hold on I have to go get a soda.......................................
Anyways, So I caught a moter bike, and rode down to his hotel. The taxi driver got lost and obviously had no clue what I was saying, but I eventually arrived at my destination.
When I arrived Brian began to speak in morse code spelling out his sentences.
"I D-O-N-T L-I-K-E-A-S-I-A-N-G-I-R-L-S!" He spelled.
It took me a while to catch on, but I eventually got it. Duh Marni, He doesn't want his new girlfriend to hear how he really feels.
"Oh!" I said, "Why?"
"I-D-O-N-T-L-I-K-E-S-L-A-N-T-E-D-E-Y-E-S!"
Well, I had no inner desire to be with him, but I was part Asian. Should I have been offended? Nah, I thought to myself, whatever turns you on dude!
He wanted to go home though he was, home sick. Dammit! I really didn't want to leave, not only that, but he put it on me to decide. Anyone that knows me, knows that I can't make desicions, especially big ones! So we did the next most logical thing, when you are in predicaments like these..... We flipped a coin. Heads we go, and tails we stay.
"May we end up, where we are suppose to end up, and wherever we go, may it be the right way." I said, as if the coin held my fate.
Brian flipped it. It tossed, it turned, it hit the dresser, landed on the floor did a half ass spin, and layed flat. HEADS! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! I thought.
Whats even funnier is that we actually listened to the coin. We left that night at five o'clock to Bangkok, If you look at my pictures I kind of look sad. However, in the end it all worked out.
A Cyclone hit Burma, and killed over 100,000 people. The same day I was scheduled to be there! In the same place where I was suppose to get my visa extended! WTF! I could have died there. Who would have thought that you could play russian rullete with a coin. Not only this, but an earthquake hit China maybe a week later and has killed X amount of people as well. I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, and she was like "What did you do?" I replied "Mom, I just left, I don't have anything to do with anything." Lol. What is a little strange, however, is that if you have kept up with my blog at all, you should know that in previous entries, I have discussed my disgust with China right now, and my worries for the people of Burma! Low and Behold, maybe a week or two later there are major disasters in both places. Wierd! WTF? I mean it could have been anywhere else.
I am happy to say, however, that it maybe it's not my time to leave this planet. I guess I have some business left to attend to. Wherever I end up may it be the right place!
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Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Im leaving on a Bus Toomarow.
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Toomarow, I will be taking a bus out to Las Vegas Nevada alone. That's right guys, this is all I have. A list of roomates from Craigslist, an ATM card, one suitcase, one Back pack, a purse, and if my cell phone gets turned back on, I'll have that too. When I first get there, I am going to hit up every person on Craigslist I am interested in. How I am going to meet these people without a car, I'm not sure. I'll figure that out later. Right now, I am still in San Francisco, with my travel partner. I'll keep you updated. Lata!
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Gina
Be careful! People are nutty in Las Vegas and a lot of people you meet through Craigslist are dangerous. I knew a guy who was living in Vegas and got stabbed by a meth addict at his apartment complex. Seriously. Be careful. If I were you I'd contact someone from Missouri you already know in Las Vegas and see if you can hangout on their couch for a few days until you get your bearings. Gina
Posted by Gina on Tuesday, May 06, 2008 - 3:18 PM
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Jenny
Jennifer Duffie
you better find chris angle when you are there. his office is in the luxor the big black casino. I want to see pictures of you and him. Oh by the way you are wild but I still love you be safe and have fun. wish I could be there
Posted by Jenny on Wednesday, May 07, 2008 - 8:19 PM
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Funk Thompson
Josh Thompson
Please please please be careful, be smart. Don't let the bright lights of vegas confuse into doing something silly! I know, I worry too much, but this is sometimes a strange and ugly world... I just want you to be safe, hun.
Posted by MJL at 7:51 PM 0 comments
Im leaving on a Bus Toomarow.
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Toomarow, I will be taking a bus out to Las Vegas Nevada alone. That's right guys, this is all I have. A list of roomates from Craigslist, an ATM card, one suitcase, one Back pack, a purse, and if my cell phone gets turned back on, I'll have that too. When I first get there, I am going to hit up every person on Craigslist I am interested in. How I am going to meet these people without a car, I'm not sure. I'll figure that out later. Right now, I am still in San Francisco, with my travel partner. I'll keep you updated. Lata!
1:49 AM3 Comments0 Kudos Translate Powered by
Gina
Be careful! People are nutty in Las Vegas and a lot of people you meet through Craigslist are dangerous. I knew a guy who was living in Vegas and got stabbed by a meth addict at his apartment complex. Seriously. Be careful. If I were you I'd contact someone from Missouri you already know in Las Vegas and see if you can hangout on their couch for a few days until you get your bearings. Gina
Posted by Gina on Tuesday, May 06, 2008 - 3:18 PM
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Jenny
Jennifer Duffie
you better find chris angle when you are there. his office is in the luxor the big black casino. I want to see pictures of you and him. Oh by the way you are wild but I still love you be safe and have fun. wish I could be there
Posted by Jenny on Wednesday, May 07, 2008 - 8:19 PM
[Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]
Funk Thompson
Josh Thompson
Please please please be careful, be smart. Don't let the bright lights of vegas confuse into doing something silly! I know, I worry too much, but this is sometimes a strange and ugly world... I just want you to be safe, hun.
Posted by MJL at 7:51 PM 0 comments
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Thursday, May 15, 2008
Flashy Lights....
Current mood: blessed
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Next thing you know, I woke up, and I'm back in America. Only, I am, I must say, a little more proud of where I was born. There I was, in San Fransico, home of the fruits and rainbow stuff, I don't mean that in a bad way. That's just what I've been told. I never got to explore all that Oakland had to offer.
My wisdom teethe were coming in, I woke up one morning bleeding profusely. It was everywhere on my pillow, and couple of spots on the matress. Brians mom woke me up.
"Marnica! Get up you're bleeding!"
I woke up, my head swaying as if I had 5 shots of tequila, and a water back. I put my head back down in grief.
"Get up!" She said, "Please don't do that!, My pillow!"
That kind of hurt my feelings. However out of repect, I said that I would pay for it. I mean I'm sorry but, is it selfish of me to wonder ... WTF! Here I am bleeding half to death, and you're worried about the pillow you baught at target?! Well, whatever the case may be, if it wasn't for Brian and his family, (well I payed for it.) but brian's mom works for the airline and I had a round trip to Thailand for $700, I would have never gotten to experience Thailand. So basically, they can say whatever they want. (I'm not un-greatful I'm just expressing how I feel and being honest.)
Overall, I had an amazing trip, and I'd do it all over again. Except, I'd take all of my friends with me. Brian and I became friends. And we now share memories that some might not understand. Although, I believe that I may have appreciated the moments a little more, judging by is complaints, he's still an ok guy. He likes to be classy, and that doesn't really exist in a third world country. I think maybe he was just thinking too much.
Well, I had to get out of there. A.S.A.P, I payed Brian's mom $150 for a new matress, pillow and pillow case, and took the next bus to Las Vegas! $80 and I was on my way! This was kind of a two day desicion. Or more like a 2 yr. desicion, if you count all the bullshitting and talk you do before you actually get there.
I said good-bye and there I was in a Greyhound bus station, all by myself headed to Vegas! Yesssss! I made friends with the guy standing in front of me. We chatted here in there, he didn't intruige me much, but he did let me put my pillow in his lap and drool all over him. It was a forteen hour drive, and it sucked!
When I first arrived! I waved a taxi driver, and had him take me to Circus Circus. I don't know why because I freakin hate clowns with a passion. Ever since I saw that movie IT. It was $55 dollars a night, and since rates go up on the weekends $90 Friday and Saturday. Holy Shit! Savings sloooowly becoming friends with 0....He dropped me off.....and then....I cussed him out.
"Twenty dollars!" I frowned, he was an illegal cab driver.
" I may be from out of town, but I know, that it doesn't cost twenty dollars to go 5 min. up the street!
I knew he was lying because he looked about 39 yrs old, but his face began to morph into a 5 year old who was in trouble with his mommy.
I did one of those hair flips (I didn't really do that, I just wrote that for effects.) Payed the man. Gasped "Herumph!" turned around and walked into my hotel. I laughed under my breath. He seemed shocked at my out of the blue attitude. But hey if you had just gotten off hey a 14 hour Greyhound, that only had two stops, with seats that recline back a 1/2 an inch, you probably would a' let him have it too.
Luckily, I have good friends. Gina, a Bartender at Harrahs, with whom, I am sure most of you know. Freaked me out about going to Vegas alone. I actually needed this. I think Gina cut down the odds of my dead body never being discovered in the desert by about 50%. You see here I am thinking that I am super women just because I survived Thailand. When, the fact of the matter is, is that America can be more violent, than over seas countries. The U.S. is'nt as fucked up as Burma.... of course, but I'm not surrounded by a bunch of Buhddist here in either. (If I am wrong about these comments, please feel free to inform me, you may begin your statement with Dear Super Women, or Hey Dumbass.....which ever you prefer...)
So I called an old friend, Daylan, who used to be a Flare Bartender, at Harrahs when the crew consisted of Greg, Kelly, Shayland, Nate, and Kurt. He and I had already made arrangements to meet with each other in 3-4 days, after my arrival.
I never left my hotel, for safety precaution. I wandered around the inside. It was as if I was surrounded by slot machines, pissed off people, and everything known to man that's not essential to life, was available for you to buy. A flashy button, mardi gra beeds, a funny hat with ugly feathers... Children? What on earth? Everywhere in the Casinos? My head was spinning. I got a french dip, and went back to my room.
My room was precisely decorated, in bright colors, everything arranged to perfection. I moved everything around, messing it all up just for the heck of it. I bit into my French dip, it was slightly over seasoned, but still good. I gazed out of the huge window, near my bed side and smiled. The room was silent, but still warm.
"How the hell did I get here?" I chuckled to myself.
"Wow!, it's Christmas everyday in Vegas!"
I kicked back, placing one foot over the other. Smoked a cigarette! (I know, I know, I'm working on it.), and closed my eyes.....
Welcome back to America!
Daylan was way cooler than I thought he would be. He tells everyone I am his cousin, and takes good care of me. He ends 95% of his sentences with " I'll punch you in yo face!" Haven't quite figured that one out... He takes me to hang out with friends. One of his friends Steve is a 6 time world champion Flare Bartender! He works at Carnival Court. I will not disclose where Daylan works, for fear of being "punched in the face!" I practiced with them both. I have bruises all over my arms. Its not as easy as it looks. And for the record, the comments that I have overheard back home such as....
"Ohhhhh, so you can serve drinks and be in the circus, Big Deal, flare insults me as a bartender!" (crossing arms and looking the other direction)....
are by far wrong. In Vegas, flare is considered an asset to bartending. It is a skill, and hoooly shit can you make money.
I am buying a car from Daylan so I will have transportion. I have my own bathroom and my own room. We live about 25 minutes away from the strip, near the Red Rock Mountains. I look at them every morning. Daylan says that they are my mountains! So hands off!
So far I haven't even toured Vegas yet so not much to say. I did however stare at a chandelier in Paris, for about an hour, with my mouth open, like I had no sense.
My next step is, getting a job. Dude! You can bank out here. You just have to get the job first. It takes most people one to two years to even get a job on the strip. You ussually have to start at the bottom, in no-name casinos down town, or you have to get juiced in, in other words know some one. Or you can just get lucky!
On his day off Daylan took me to Harrahs employment office, where I put in my application to 3 different places. Ceasar's, Paris, and Rio. It took forever! When I finished the computer displayed (whick I read in a cheesy talk show host voice.)
"PLEASE SEE THE RECEPTIONIST AT THE FRONT DESK BEFORE LEAVING THANK YOU FOR APPLYING WITH HARRAHS!"
So I went. It was a nice, older, farely attractive, spanish lady! She had very laid back mannerisms.
She said "Soooo you wanna be a dealer?"
"Umm are you not hiring for cocktails?" I inquired.
she sighed, as if she didn't have a care in the world.
"Yaaah, we do...but I'm hiring for dealers..." Sounding like a mobsters wife.
I ran with it....Dayland said take what ever you can get.
"Ummm y-y-yah sure I'd.....love to be a um a dealer!" I hesitated.
"Alright, we'll see you toomarow, at around 3 o'clock."
I am the most hyper girl you will ever meet. I hope I can stand in one spot for a long time that's all I'm saying.
I went to the first interview, and I passed! It was a group interview with about twenty other people. Basically, at the end they called about 7 names.
"Joe Rodrigez......Chelsea Brown....." Sounding like a highschool intercom.
Those candidates who where escorted out of the room, never came back. They where singled out from every one else. (pretty harsh, but they don't care about your feelings in Vegas). Thus the remaining 13 people passed.
Friday, I have my second interview. If everything goes well, I will be working on the strip, one week after I got here. It would be nice to have income and I will let you all know what happens. Think of this all, as sorta of like a.....self promotion! If any of you decide to come down here. I'll be waiting with open arms!
Thank you to anyone who has been reading my blog, and joining me in my journey. I really appreciate your friendship! It means a lot to me! I miss you all! It gets lonely out here! It's hard being a G......but damn it feels good.
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Nicholas
congrats! i might be hitting up vegas in august when i go back home for a bit.
lemme know if you're still working there!
Posted by Nicholas on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 1:10 AM
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Ashley
Ashley Kingsmore
I am so excited for you!
You write so well, I feel like I am right beside you the whole time!
I hope you get the job and everything goes perfect.
I can not wait to go to vegas to visit you!!
Posted by Ashley on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 7:54 PM
Flashy Lights....
Current mood: blessed
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Next thing you know, I woke up, and I'm back in America. Only, I am, I must say, a little more proud of where I was born. There I was, in San Fransico, home of the fruits and rainbow stuff, I don't mean that in a bad way. That's just what I've been told. I never got to explore all that Oakland had to offer.
My wisdom teethe were coming in, I woke up one morning bleeding profusely. It was everywhere on my pillow, and couple of spots on the matress. Brians mom woke me up.
"Marnica! Get up you're bleeding!"
I woke up, my head swaying as if I had 5 shots of tequila, and a water back. I put my head back down in grief.
"Get up!" She said, "Please don't do that!, My pillow!"
That kind of hurt my feelings. However out of repect, I said that I would pay for it. I mean I'm sorry but, is it selfish of me to wonder ... WTF! Here I am bleeding half to death, and you're worried about the pillow you baught at target?! Well, whatever the case may be, if it wasn't for Brian and his family, (well I payed for it.) but brian's mom works for the airline and I had a round trip to Thailand for $700, I would have never gotten to experience Thailand. So basically, they can say whatever they want. (I'm not un-greatful I'm just expressing how I feel and being honest.)
Overall, I had an amazing trip, and I'd do it all over again. Except, I'd take all of my friends with me. Brian and I became friends. And we now share memories that some might not understand. Although, I believe that I may have appreciated the moments a little more, judging by is complaints, he's still an ok guy. He likes to be classy, and that doesn't really exist in a third world country. I think maybe he was just thinking too much.
Well, I had to get out of there. A.S.A.P, I payed Brian's mom $150 for a new matress, pillow and pillow case, and took the next bus to Las Vegas! $80 and I was on my way! This was kind of a two day desicion. Or more like a 2 yr. desicion, if you count all the bullshitting and talk you do before you actually get there.
I said good-bye and there I was in a Greyhound bus station, all by myself headed to Vegas! Yesssss! I made friends with the guy standing in front of me. We chatted here in there, he didn't intruige me much, but he did let me put my pillow in his lap and drool all over him. It was a forteen hour drive, and it sucked!
When I first arrived! I waved a taxi driver, and had him take me to Circus Circus. I don't know why because I freakin hate clowns with a passion. Ever since I saw that movie IT. It was $55 dollars a night, and since rates go up on the weekends $90 Friday and Saturday. Holy Shit! Savings sloooowly becoming friends with 0....He dropped me off.....and then....I cussed him out.
"Twenty dollars!" I frowned, he was an illegal cab driver.
" I may be from out of town, but I know, that it doesn't cost twenty dollars to go 5 min. up the street!
I knew he was lying because he looked about 39 yrs old, but his face began to morph into a 5 year old who was in trouble with his mommy.
I did one of those hair flips (I didn't really do that, I just wrote that for effects.) Payed the man. Gasped "Herumph!" turned around and walked into my hotel. I laughed under my breath. He seemed shocked at my out of the blue attitude. But hey if you had just gotten off hey a 14 hour Greyhound, that only had two stops, with seats that recline back a 1/2 an inch, you probably would a' let him have it too.
Luckily, I have good friends. Gina, a Bartender at Harrahs, with whom, I am sure most of you know. Freaked me out about going to Vegas alone. I actually needed this. I think Gina cut down the odds of my dead body never being discovered in the desert by about 50%. You see here I am thinking that I am super women just because I survived Thailand. When, the fact of the matter is, is that America can be more violent, than over seas countries. The U.S. is'nt as fucked up as Burma.... of course, but I'm not surrounded by a bunch of Buhddist here in either. (If I am wrong about these comments, please feel free to inform me, you may begin your statement with Dear Super Women, or Hey Dumbass.....which ever you prefer...)
So I called an old friend, Daylan, who used to be a Flare Bartender, at Harrahs when the crew consisted of Greg, Kelly, Shayland, Nate, and Kurt. He and I had already made arrangements to meet with each other in 3-4 days, after my arrival.
I never left my hotel, for safety precaution. I wandered around the inside. It was as if I was surrounded by slot machines, pissed off people, and everything known to man that's not essential to life, was available for you to buy. A flashy button, mardi gra beeds, a funny hat with ugly feathers... Children? What on earth? Everywhere in the Casinos? My head was spinning. I got a french dip, and went back to my room.
My room was precisely decorated, in bright colors, everything arranged to perfection. I moved everything around, messing it all up just for the heck of it. I bit into my French dip, it was slightly over seasoned, but still good. I gazed out of the huge window, near my bed side and smiled. The room was silent, but still warm.
"How the hell did I get here?" I chuckled to myself.
"Wow!, it's Christmas everyday in Vegas!"
I kicked back, placing one foot over the other. Smoked a cigarette! (I know, I know, I'm working on it.), and closed my eyes.....
Welcome back to America!
Daylan was way cooler than I thought he would be. He tells everyone I am his cousin, and takes good care of me. He ends 95% of his sentences with " I'll punch you in yo face!" Haven't quite figured that one out... He takes me to hang out with friends. One of his friends Steve is a 6 time world champion Flare Bartender! He works at Carnival Court. I will not disclose where Daylan works, for fear of being "punched in the face!" I practiced with them both. I have bruises all over my arms. Its not as easy as it looks. And for the record, the comments that I have overheard back home such as....
"Ohhhhh, so you can serve drinks and be in the circus, Big Deal, flare insults me as a bartender!" (crossing arms and looking the other direction)....
are by far wrong. In Vegas, flare is considered an asset to bartending. It is a skill, and hoooly shit can you make money.
I am buying a car from Daylan so I will have transportion. I have my own bathroom and my own room. We live about 25 minutes away from the strip, near the Red Rock Mountains. I look at them every morning. Daylan says that they are my mountains! So hands off!
So far I haven't even toured Vegas yet so not much to say. I did however stare at a chandelier in Paris, for about an hour, with my mouth open, like I had no sense.
My next step is, getting a job. Dude! You can bank out here. You just have to get the job first. It takes most people one to two years to even get a job on the strip. You ussually have to start at the bottom, in no-name casinos down town, or you have to get juiced in, in other words know some one. Or you can just get lucky!
On his day off Daylan took me to Harrahs employment office, where I put in my application to 3 different places. Ceasar's, Paris, and Rio. It took forever! When I finished the computer displayed (whick I read in a cheesy talk show host voice.)
"PLEASE SEE THE RECEPTIONIST AT THE FRONT DESK BEFORE LEAVING THANK YOU FOR APPLYING WITH HARRAHS!"
So I went. It was a nice, older, farely attractive, spanish lady! She had very laid back mannerisms.
She said "Soooo you wanna be a dealer?"
"Umm are you not hiring for cocktails?" I inquired.
she sighed, as if she didn't have a care in the world.
"Yaaah, we do...but I'm hiring for dealers..." Sounding like a mobsters wife.
I ran with it....Dayland said take what ever you can get.
"Ummm y-y-yah sure I'd.....love to be a um a dealer!" I hesitated.
"Alright, we'll see you toomarow, at around 3 o'clock."
I am the most hyper girl you will ever meet. I hope I can stand in one spot for a long time that's all I'm saying.
I went to the first interview, and I passed! It was a group interview with about twenty other people. Basically, at the end they called about 7 names.
"Joe Rodrigez......Chelsea Brown....." Sounding like a highschool intercom.
Those candidates who where escorted out of the room, never came back. They where singled out from every one else. (pretty harsh, but they don't care about your feelings in Vegas). Thus the remaining 13 people passed.
Friday, I have my second interview. If everything goes well, I will be working on the strip, one week after I got here. It would be nice to have income and I will let you all know what happens. Think of this all, as sorta of like a.....self promotion! If any of you decide to come down here. I'll be waiting with open arms!
Thank you to anyone who has been reading my blog, and joining me in my journey. I really appreciate your friendship! It means a lot to me! I miss you all! It gets lonely out here! It's hard being a G......but damn it feels good.
6:29 AM2 Comments4 Kudos Translate Powered by
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Nicholas
congrats! i might be hitting up vegas in august when i go back home for a bit.
lemme know if you're still working there!
Posted by Nicholas on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 1:10 AM
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Ashley
Ashley Kingsmore
I am so excited for you!
You write so well, I feel like I am right beside you the whole time!
I hope you get the job and everything goes perfect.
I can not wait to go to vegas to visit you!!
Posted by Ashley on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 7:54 PM
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Saturday, May 24, 2008
Think I’m joking come find out for yourself.
I am still unemployed. No I didn't get the job. I really hope my references didn't have anything to do with it. lol. Jesus! I know it took Daylan 2 years to get on the strip, but seriously, I can't wait that long. I have applied everywhere. My day consist of "please call....please call..." If this continues I will be flat broke. If all else fails I guess I will have to apply somewhere off the strip. I cannot wait until I have a car. So that I am not secluded away from everything. You don't think I'm having a hard time? The places I want to work at are apparently like applying for Harvard or Princeton in the casino world. Come find out for yourself but read this first. I'll try not to give up guys.
Moving To Vegas... Gonna Get A Casino Job When I Get There
The In's and Out's of Landing a Job in Vegas
by Edward B Toupin
Don't get your hopes up! You might be working as a bartender or hostess in a local pub near your home and think you have what it takes. Maybe you do, but its not as easy to get a casino job in Las Vegas as you might think.
But...I heard it was easy!
The casinos are booming and they are always looking for new faces to take on new roles. One problem I've seen so far for newcomers is that many casino employees have worked in the same position for more than five years. They really do love their jobs and they make a considerable amount of money.
Another problem is that of qualifications. As I said, you might be a good bartender, but the bartenders I spoke with say that it is very different from working in a regular bar. It requires experience in a high-volume environment as well as the ability to manage the gaming positions that surround most of the bars. Of course, some places like Bally's and the Imperial Palace will sometimes take on entry-level people. But, that only happens when they need new people to fill an immediate need.
Finally, Nevada and Las Vegas have set up some stringent requirements surrounding work in the gaming industry. You not only have to be qualified, but you also have to get your work cards. Work cards are special IDs that tell employers and the various commissions that you are able to work in the Las Vegas gaming industry. You have to go through interviews as well as a set of classes to familiarize yourself with the commissions' expectations.
Reading, Writing, and Rum & Coke
To be qualified for most casinos, you have to have some amount of experience in the hospitality industry. This means high-volume hospitality environments, not a mom-and-pop restaurant that dishes out a few drinks here and there. We're talking thousands of customers per shift. If not, your best bet is to take a class in bartending or dealing when you get here. Don't bother taking a bartending class before you head out as Las Vegas bartending requires a unique set of skills for serving the clientele. Some of the places I found while scouring the streets are:
ABC Bartending
PCI Dealers School
Las Vegas School of Dealing
Dealers Training Center
These schools say that they will teach you "Las Vegas Style Bartending" in a week or two and they will provide a qualification class to help you obtain your Alcohol Awareness Card. Of course, prepare yourself to have to put out the money up front and find a place to stay while going to class and job hunting. However, most of the schools in the area provide placement counseling to help you find a job when you graduate.
The Chicken or the Egg?
The work cards are the most important part of the entire process. If you've applied at any casinos so far, you probably heard "we'll call you in two weeks." Actually, some human resource personnel told me that this is a sweet way of saying "since you have no work cards, you're useless, and we're tossing your application in the garbage." Get your cards before you apply. But, here's a twist: you have to be sponsored by a gaming establishment to get a gaming card.
Somehow, somewhere, you have to weasel yourself into a situation such that a gaming establishment will hire you and sponsor you. But, if you don't have the cards, how can you get hired to obtain a sponsor? The best way to work around this is to go to one of the off-Strip video-poker bars and see if they will work with you. In some cases, you can finagle some obscure job for a while so you can get your sponsorship. In other cases, good networking helps to move you forward and get a sponsor. Here is the secret: one of the most impressive and amazing things about Las Vegas is that people are usually open to helping you if you ask.
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6:45 PM2 Comments4 Kudos Translate Powered by
Marnica Lindsey....Don't you dare give up!!!!!!!!! OK, SO, you didn't get the first job you interviewed for?????
GET Another interview?????? I know you can get another interview?
OK, I believe you, it's hard to get work on the strip, WELL then work off the strip, or say Fuck the Casinos all together, and find A JOB, doing something, until you can network enough to get a proper Casino Job, and knowing you that will probably take less than a month or two....... If you are living with the Daylan Green I remember, you have a built in networking machine. He probably can't get you a job, but he can introduce you to people that might, and you can do the rest.
I don't mean to sound angry with you, I'm not, I promise, but I've been so proud of you the last few months, that if you give up and come back to the STL, because you didn't get your first interview on the Strip, I'll be a little disappointed in you.
NOW, if you really want to come back here, I won't be mad, I'll understand even. Hell, I'd be glad to see you, but I don't think that's what you are looking for, and I think you deserve better.
I hope you are safe, and if you could, punch Daylan in his face for me......
Love ya
corey
Posted by corey on Sunday, May 25, 2008 - 6:25 AM
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Nicholas
Your friend's right. Just get a part-time job that will keep you afloat until you can network your way into a job. In Vegas it almost seems like who you know is way more important than what you know, so try to meet influential people. Also, get those qualifications out of the way! "We'll call you in two weeks" is definitely a polite way of saying you're not qualified. GET those certifications and sponsorships, etc! In the meantime, you can definitely find a restaurant or bar that is hiring. Good luck!
Posted by Nicholas on Monday, June 02, 2008 - 7:17 PM
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Think I’m joking come find out for yourself.
I am still unemployed. No I didn't get the job. I really hope my references didn't have anything to do with it. lol. Jesus! I know it took Daylan 2 years to get on the strip, but seriously, I can't wait that long. I have applied everywhere. My day consist of "please call....please call..." If this continues I will be flat broke. If all else fails I guess I will have to apply somewhere off the strip. I cannot wait until I have a car. So that I am not secluded away from everything. You don't think I'm having a hard time? The places I want to work at are apparently like applying for Harvard or Princeton in the casino world. Come find out for yourself but read this first. I'll try not to give up guys.
Moving To Vegas... Gonna Get A Casino Job When I Get There
The In's and Out's of Landing a Job in Vegas
by Edward B Toupin
Don't get your hopes up! You might be working as a bartender or hostess in a local pub near your home and think you have what it takes. Maybe you do, but its not as easy to get a casino job in Las Vegas as you might think.
But...I heard it was easy!
The casinos are booming and they are always looking for new faces to take on new roles. One problem I've seen so far for newcomers is that many casino employees have worked in the same position for more than five years. They really do love their jobs and they make a considerable amount of money.
Another problem is that of qualifications. As I said, you might be a good bartender, but the bartenders I spoke with say that it is very different from working in a regular bar. It requires experience in a high-volume environment as well as the ability to manage the gaming positions that surround most of the bars. Of course, some places like Bally's and the Imperial Palace will sometimes take on entry-level people. But, that only happens when they need new people to fill an immediate need.
Finally, Nevada and Las Vegas have set up some stringent requirements surrounding work in the gaming industry. You not only have to be qualified, but you also have to get your work cards. Work cards are special IDs that tell employers and the various commissions that you are able to work in the Las Vegas gaming industry. You have to go through interviews as well as a set of classes to familiarize yourself with the commissions' expectations.
Reading, Writing, and Rum & Coke
To be qualified for most casinos, you have to have some amount of experience in the hospitality industry. This means high-volume hospitality environments, not a mom-and-pop restaurant that dishes out a few drinks here and there. We're talking thousands of customers per shift. If not, your best bet is to take a class in bartending or dealing when you get here. Don't bother taking a bartending class before you head out as Las Vegas bartending requires a unique set of skills for serving the clientele. Some of the places I found while scouring the streets are:
ABC Bartending
PCI Dealers School
Las Vegas School of Dealing
Dealers Training Center
These schools say that they will teach you "Las Vegas Style Bartending" in a week or two and they will provide a qualification class to help you obtain your Alcohol Awareness Card. Of course, prepare yourself to have to put out the money up front and find a place to stay while going to class and job hunting. However, most of the schools in the area provide placement counseling to help you find a job when you graduate.
The Chicken or the Egg?
The work cards are the most important part of the entire process. If you've applied at any casinos so far, you probably heard "we'll call you in two weeks." Actually, some human resource personnel told me that this is a sweet way of saying "since you have no work cards, you're useless, and we're tossing your application in the garbage." Get your cards before you apply. But, here's a twist: you have to be sponsored by a gaming establishment to get a gaming card.
Somehow, somewhere, you have to weasel yourself into a situation such that a gaming establishment will hire you and sponsor you. But, if you don't have the cards, how can you get hired to obtain a sponsor? The best way to work around this is to go to one of the off-Strip video-poker bars and see if they will work with you. In some cases, you can finagle some obscure job for a while so you can get your sponsorship. In other cases, good networking helps to move you forward and get a sponsor. Here is the secret: one of the most impressive and amazing things about Las Vegas is that people are usually open to helping you if you ask.
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6:45 PM2 Comments4 Kudos Translate Powered by
Marnica Lindsey....Don't you dare give up!!!!!!!!! OK, SO, you didn't get the first job you interviewed for?????
GET Another interview?????? I know you can get another interview?
OK, I believe you, it's hard to get work on the strip, WELL then work off the strip, or say Fuck the Casinos all together, and find A JOB, doing something, until you can network enough to get a proper Casino Job, and knowing you that will probably take less than a month or two....... If you are living with the Daylan Green I remember, you have a built in networking machine. He probably can't get you a job, but he can introduce you to people that might, and you can do the rest.
I don't mean to sound angry with you, I'm not, I promise, but I've been so proud of you the last few months, that if you give up and come back to the STL, because you didn't get your first interview on the Strip, I'll be a little disappointed in you.
NOW, if you really want to come back here, I won't be mad, I'll understand even. Hell, I'd be glad to see you, but I don't think that's what you are looking for, and I think you deserve better.
I hope you are safe, and if you could, punch Daylan in his face for me......
Love ya
corey
Posted by corey on Sunday, May 25, 2008 - 6:25 AM
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Nicholas
Your friend's right. Just get a part-time job that will keep you afloat until you can network your way into a job. In Vegas it almost seems like who you know is way more important than what you know, so try to meet influential people. Also, get those qualifications out of the way! "We'll call you in two weeks" is definitely a polite way of saying you're not qualified. GET those certifications and sponsorships, etc! In the meantime, you can definitely find a restaurant or bar that is hiring. Good luck!
Posted by Nicholas on Monday, June 02, 2008 - 7:17 PM
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Saturday, June 28, 2008
Hey You miss me??
Category: Blogging
Its okay if you didnt, you wouldn't be the first. Whats funny is I haven't written in so long that no one will probably read this lol. Oh well, what the hey, I need to release my thoughts anyway.
Im on my friend Trisha's computer. She's taking a shower and then we're going who knows where. Her son Blake is playing guitar heroe right next to me. He is totally engulfed by it. Marni! Marni! Look! Every so often I sneak back to type in my blog. Then he catches me. "Hey you're not looking!"
I don't have much time. However I left this entry to let Whoever gives a f(bleeep!), know, what I have been feeliing, thinking, and doing about my life, love, jobs and friendships. Unfortunaltly, Blake really wants to play Wii, and I don't have the time to write all of my thoughts, in 10 minutes. So my entry will be in, with in the next two weeks, if I find a computer, and it may be my last, but I haven't decided yet. How are all the mysterious people who have ever sneaked a peak at my blog?? Why don't you ever tell me how you're doing?? Anyways, you'll be hearing from me soon! And to those who ought to be missed ....I miss you!
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The Concert Goddess
not only do i read it, i'm a subscriber!
i love you and i miss you so much, everyone misses you, even jamie wants you to come back!
enjoy life, and have fun
call a bitch some time!
i miss you!
Posted by The Concert Goddess on Saturday, June 28, 2008 - 10:17 PM
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Jenny
Jennifer Duffie
yeah you know i miss you but we talk like every few days so it's cool. stay safe and get your ass to kansas city
Posted by Jenny on Sunday, June 29, 2008 - 7:11 PM
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Dj SirCuz
miss you
Posted by Dj SirCuz on Wednesday, July 02, 2008 - 5:36 PM
[Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]
Hey You miss me??
Category: Blogging
Its okay if you didnt, you wouldn't be the first. Whats funny is I haven't written in so long that no one will probably read this lol. Oh well, what the hey, I need to release my thoughts anyway.
Im on my friend Trisha's computer. She's taking a shower and then we're going who knows where. Her son Blake is playing guitar heroe right next to me. He is totally engulfed by it. Marni! Marni! Look! Every so often I sneak back to type in my blog. Then he catches me. "Hey you're not looking!"
I don't have much time. However I left this entry to let Whoever gives a f(bleeep!), know, what I have been feeliing, thinking, and doing about my life, love, jobs and friendships. Unfortunaltly, Blake really wants to play Wii, and I don't have the time to write all of my thoughts, in 10 minutes. So my entry will be in, with in the next two weeks, if I find a computer, and it may be my last, but I haven't decided yet. How are all the mysterious people who have ever sneaked a peak at my blog?? Why don't you ever tell me how you're doing?? Anyways, you'll be hearing from me soon! And to those who ought to be missed ....I miss you!
8:29 PM3 Comments0 Kudos Translate Powered by
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The Concert Goddess
not only do i read it, i'm a subscriber!
i love you and i miss you so much, everyone misses you, even jamie wants you to come back!
enjoy life, and have fun
call a bitch some time!
i miss you!
Posted by The Concert Goddess on Saturday, June 28, 2008 - 10:17 PM
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Jenny
Jennifer Duffie
yeah you know i miss you but we talk like every few days so it's cool. stay safe and get your ass to kansas city
Posted by Jenny on Sunday, June 29, 2008 - 7:11 PM
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Dj SirCuz
miss you
Posted by Dj SirCuz on Wednesday, July 02, 2008 - 5:36 PM
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Thursday, July 03, 2008
Drunk!
Okay.........Now.......You are witnessing my first drunken stooper blog. Basically it's about 5:20 and I have to be at work at 9:00. I went to a bar tonight called the Blue Martini, and the only reason I got in is because me and my friend Trisha were on the V.I.P list. I had a really good time! I may have abused my Adios Mother Fuckers drinks, but that doesn't matter. I can still kind of type. I also think I may have drank and dialed a couple of times, but it's not like the people I called know who I am......Ummm I don't think. Anyways, the next time I write, I will be sober, it's more fun and theraputic that way anyway. Later Homies!
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Dj SirCuz
haha, rock staring it up i see
Posted by Dj SirCuz on Thursday, July 03, 2008 - 10:13 AM
Drunk!
Okay.........Now.......You are witnessing my first drunken stooper blog. Basically it's about 5:20 and I have to be at work at 9:00. I went to a bar tonight called the Blue Martini, and the only reason I got in is because me and my friend Trisha were on the V.I.P list. I had a really good time! I may have abused my Adios Mother Fuckers drinks, but that doesn't matter. I can still kind of type. I also think I may have drank and dialed a couple of times, but it's not like the people I called know who I am......Ummm I don't think. Anyways, the next time I write, I will be sober, it's more fun and theraputic that way anyway. Later Homies!
5:15 AM1 Comment0 Kudos Translate Powered by
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Dj SirCuz
haha, rock staring it up i see
Posted by Dj SirCuz on Thursday, July 03, 2008 - 10:13 AM
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