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Saturday, January 17, 2009
SO EPIC.
Category: Writing and Poetry
SO EPIC.

I lay awake it's about six twenty four
I'm all by myself and I guess at some point you just realize you can't really take anymore.
You did what you could, and I guess it's just not enough.
You can't shake the time you shared.
You can't shake the energy exchanged.
That night, those days, those afternoons.
Nothing seems to compare.
No one really listens, No one really understands .....
except for you both..........
The only thing outsiders can seem to agree on is ......well ....... that it's time to move on.
I ramble on and on, I plead my case .... and it seems nothing makes any sense,
but in my heart all I hear is music ........ pictures of a time when things felt perfect.
It makes complete sense right?? He just didn't care ......
He just calls because he wants to continue the nightmares.....just to make sure
That he's still all you ever wanted ......
and you DID wait for him ........
but it doesn't matter if you do it right, even if it was for all the right reasons .....
There's something more ........ Something you have yet to comprehend ......yet to explore.....
Right?? That's the only thing that makes sense...... so ........
If he isn't the one for you, then really who is? ........
Why else would something you were so happy with ....... become amiss? ......
They say if he isn't the one ...... well.... there's something better anyway ....... but ......
I don't understand .....What's wrong with the choices I've already made ....
I never asked for something better ....... so .......what's going on? ...... maybe something or someone know's us or .... me better than I or anyone else knows me .... atleast ..... that's what I can only hope.........I'm trying to cope ... I'm trying to let him go ........I'm holding him by his fingertips .....crying again ..... it should be easier than this ..... I'm so sorry I am so complicated......I looked out of my window, and I saw the sunrise again .... alone I sit next to my computer, oh WEGAS .... my dear friend ..... There is something so beautiful about this...... alone..... desperation...... emotions within, how I wish I could step outside that balcony...... scramble for a lighter .....and then..... burn these feelings with an inhale of a cigarette......tap..tap...tapin' ...... ashes fall like teardrops...suckin my soul through a filter..... THEN,....I would relax into a coma, similllar to HEROIN...... I can't though..... not tonight I quit that shit anyway right?..... I must heal....rid my body of this..... atleast somewhat ..... I think I have done my body enough damage ...but back to my other addiction.... I pictured him so many times I wanted to puke .....I pictured how bad I could hurt him .....I envisioned drastic actions that would give him a better feel of my passion.... How much physical damage I would do ..... then I wondered ... would you really do it? ...... Or would you just collapse in his arms ....... so epic..... but it seems so true.
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Gina

Great blog Marnie! Very poetic. I hope you're not in as much pain as the blog reads, but if you are, you have channeled that pain into something bigger than that pain. I love the line "I'm holding him by his fingertips. . ."

Take care of yourself out there and I'm still going to respond to your Christmas blog.

Gina

Posted by Gina on Sunday, January 18, 2009 - 11:33 AM
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BURN THE MUTE


nicely written, I must say!
but whats this about the junk????
timbo

Posted by BURN THE MUTE on Friday, January 30, 2009 - 4:07 PM
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Lost in Las Vegas

marnica lindsay

What's the Junk?

Posted by Lost in Las Vegas on Monday, February 09, 2009 - 6:34 AM
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