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Friday, November 21, 2008
Rambling to my firend WEGAS. I missed you WEGAS!!
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Dear Wegas (Who Ever Gives A Shit),

You have to be tough to to make it in Vegas. Ive noticed a lot of people I've met, have either moved back home to mom A: because they cant handle the scene, or B: point blank they just did'nt make it.

I'd like to think I'm on my way. I wouldn't say that Ive made it, until Im swimming in dough, and buying wine and cheese for no reason, and perhaps have the ability to save small third world countries, or atleast buy my mom and dad something real nice All in all though, I think Im doing the best I can, and to me, that makes me a winner. .

I remember my mom told me once, "I've done the best I can for you dear, now its up to you to find what you think love is." lol. Ive really only come to figure out what love isn't.... what's your take on the topic?

Ive been in relationships, some long, some short, some off and on, some serious, some not, and decided that. Through out my journey Ive met a lot of amazing people, and have had one of kind experiences. Whether good, or bad, it was still an experience and through experience I gain wisdom.

One day though, Id like to be with someone for a long time, through thick and thin, and in fact, I don't believe that I ever had any intentions of not having this, and am completely envious of those who have accomplished heartfelt long relationships. By long I mean 5 or more years. I truly desire to grow and die with someone, in a healthy relationship, and be an amazingly faithful women who is strong, yet still vounerable to an amazing man in my future. I know it won't always be fun, and I know there's ups and downs, and I know there's no such thing as a fairy tale. However, I truly believe that this can become my reality one day, but its not my time. I would like to encourage those in relationships to stay together and be strong.

So..... I went out on date the other night. My friend Trisha was at the bar flirting with the bartender. My date gave me about 5 bucks. So I grabbed my beer (if you like clamato and haven't tried budlight's new beer with clamato in it, you should, its awesome!) and put a dollar in at a time, in a Texas Tea slot machine. My drunk date looks over at me and says,

"Is that the guy Trisha likes?" not minding his own business.

I said "Yeah..." pointing at the short Hispanic bartender behind the bar.

He quickly responds, "But....she's white! Expecting that I would take that comment and come back with a yuck face and say "Like yeah, I know and he's hispanic GaaRoss!"

......I was appalled! OMG! Mind you this guy was white as well, WTF!?!

"AND?" Is all I could really say.

He's white? He's trying to hook up with me? Last time I checked I was pretty ethnic. He was kind of cute, until he went off and made a bleak hypocritical comment!

The Texas Tea machine wasn't winning at all. I hit the button harder and harder, "That's why I live in a blue state! stupid Texas! stupid Machine!" lol.

Needless to say the whole thing was kind of disaster, I never really wanted to go anyway, Trisha made me. Besides that, I thought we were pass the whole.....


[Insert country accent here] "people should be with there own people."


(shrug) I guess that means I'm fucked to an extremely small portion of the population, or that my birth was just some kind of weird experiment, oh and that Tiger Woods and Kimora Lee are destined to be together. Who knew?

I start working at my New Job on Dec 4th. I'm really nervous, starting a new job, always feels like going to a new school, only this, is an all girls school. My plan is stay focused, and just do the best I can, and stay away from guys! Ive never worked at a 5 star casino, and I'm really exited for the opportunity. Maybe not for you, but for me, there's sort of a rush I get, knowing that I will walk right up to a big building, into a crowd of people, where I don't know ANYONE. I wonder... will I feel unsettled? Will I sit alone finding something to fidget with. One could only hope, there's some other girl who, like me, has trouble acting normal. And possibly one of us has the balls to say "Hey, uh .... can I sit next to you?"


My take on Vegas so far is, its fast. Way faster than MO. or anywhere else I've ever been. It's loud! Unless you live by the mountains like I do. It's flashy, very unatural, but in its own way, its still so much fun. Theres people everywhere, from all over the world! Diversity is the name of the game. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want! You can watch a movie at 3am if you just so feel the need. They sell hot dogs, nachos, and slushy's at the DMV! WTF! Gas stations have slot machines in them, and people really play them! I haven't had the honors yet. Everybody is here to party and ready to party. Have tough skin, and trust few people, is what every local's motto is. There's so much more, but I don't have the time or patience to write it all out. Words, pictures and books, never saitisfied me enough anyway. I always had to experience it myself.

As for myspace. I think Im gonna take a break for a little while. I feel like its rotting my brain, and keeping me from doing things that are more productive. Like reading a book, or going to the sauna (Saunas are awesome! Try it!You could loose weight!"), or learning to cook (I make a mean pot roast!), or making new friends. Feel free to drop me a line anyway if you want, I don't mind. Let me know how your life's been, or tell me a story. Tell me about your dreams or accomplishments, and if you are my friend, and you need to talk, I'll always listen. =)

Some good news! Toomarow will be eleventh day smoke free!




P.S.- I went home to visit my family. It was a brief trip so I couldn't see many people, but St. Louis isn't so bad. Im proud of where Im from. Missed it even. =)

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Dj SirCuz


Sounds like you're settling in to Vegas pretty well, congrats on the new job! Let me know next time you make it back to St. Louis if you have a little free time. Stay strong.

Posted by Dj SirCuz on Wednesday, December 03, 2008 - 10:23 PM
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BURN THE MUTE


I always kinda felt like vegas was evil and full of decite, a place where dreams die and lives are destroyed, a place built on crushed hopes...... the city of excess. I know its easy to say that people make their own decisions and they should have known when to stop, but its not always that easy, and thats what the casinos bet on......its like crack...who do you blame, the crack head, the dealer, or the addictvness of the drug? all of them are equally to blame...
but if you cut out the dealer the problem goes away...so I'm not so cool with vegas, its also very superficial, they love you if you have money and love it when you lose your money but as soon as the money is gone they will tell you to get the fuck out, even if you just made them a million....its also very funny to me that its illegal to be homless in a city that obviously causes so much homlessness....so all in all I gotta say my over all out look on vegas is that its a shit stain on our sociaty.
I also wanted to say that none of this rant was directed at you personally, just the city you live in. I wish you the best of luck in your endevors, but I do wonder how you mantain a since of values in your contribution to the destrution of lives???
have fun
BTM

Posted by BURN THE MUTE on Wednesday, December 24, 2008 - 5:50 PM